Things I Might Forget

Things I Already Forgot (about newborns)

2012-02-04T22:10:00.002-05:00

Breastfeeding makes you extremely hungry, thirsty, and sleepy...all at the same time. I forget about this until I've got my newborn good and latched on and then realize I forgot to grab a snack or drink.
Speaking of hungry...breastfeeding "hunger" is much more intense than pregnancy "hunger."
It's fun to play dress-up with a new baby...they look cute in everything. It is not much fun for the baby...she hates it.
Nothing stimulates baby's bladder and bowels like a clean diaper. Nothing.
Babies are little, but their cries are not. In the middle of the night, it is the loudest sound imaginable!
Spit-up happens (always on a cute outfit or on my side of the bed).
Apparently, Packard babies always look alike...boy or girl (see evidence below):
Exhibit A (Penn)
Exhibit B (Jude)
Exhibit C (Anna)
Thank you and goodnight:)

Anna's Birth Story

2012-01-31T21:54:00.003-05:00

Just to warn you, this is a long, detailed story about a very short labor. I've put in all the details that I can remember for Anna's birthday because I don't want to forget a thing. I'm so thankful for every single detail in this story and I know that even if no one ever reads it, I'll always be glad I recorded the events from that day. And if a detailed birth story (with photos) is not your thing, you may want to skip this post because HERE IT GOES...

Anna's Birth Story 1/27/2012


Anna Hazel Packard--January 27, 2012

Thursday night (January 26th), my mom and sister Karen arrived at our house to stay with us for the weekend. The hope was that I would go into labor while they were here and available to watch the boys for us to go to the hospital. All day Thursday, I had irregular contractions that were on average about 10 minutes apart. When I walked around, I had strange pains in the tops of my legs that made it hard to walk. I wasn't in pain or terribly uncomfortable, but I felt like I was heading into labor (which is I guess what you should feel like at 39.5 weeks pregnant). I went to sleep thinking that I would wake up needing to head to the hospital, but instead had a really solid night of sleep. I woke up disappointed that I wasn't in labor. Pack asked if he should go to work or not and I told him to go, but try to stay close by in case I needed him. I figured if (by chance) I went into labor while he was gone, there would still be two adults at the house (one to take me to the hospital and one to watch the children). After the false alarm from the night before, I expected a pretty uneventful day.

I was wrong.

We had a pretty normal morning. Mom made breakfast for the kids, Karen, and I, and we sat around playing with the boys and taking care of Carmon who we were planning to take to a nearby Urgent Care for some respiratory issues she had started having the day before. Instead of sending her alone, I decided to go with the two of them and see if Karen would drive me by my doctor's office to get checked out before the weekend. I thought Pack might be less stressed over the weekend if he knew my contractions were just false labor ( like i thought they were, haha) and weren't helping me progress. I was still having very irregular contractions, but instead of averaging 10 minutes, they were averaging about 7 minutes. When I called the doctor's office, they said they could see me at about 12:15 to get checked out.

I told my doctor that I was "labor stupid." Since I was induced twice before and never really felt any pre-labor contractions, I felt like I was a first-time mom. I didn't think I was in labor, but I knew something was going on. When he checked me, he said I was about 4 cm dilated, completely effaced, and the baby's head was "way down." He wanted me to go right over to the hospital to get started on the antibiotic and discuss breaking my water to get things moving. I didn't especially want my water broken artificially, but I did want to get the antibiotic in time for the baby to be born and I figured that my only two choices to start labor would be if my water was broken or if I started pitocin (which I definitely did not).

I got to the hospital at about 12:45 and was getting settled in a room by 1:00. The nurses tried to quickly start the antibiotic. The first IV attempt blew my vein. On the second attempt, they tried to be nice and use a smaller needle (even though I didn't complain), but the catheter was too small and it wouldn't reach the spot they needed. On the third time, they finally got it, but by then I felt like a pin cushion. Once the catheter was in, they started me on the penicillin and I waited on Pack to make it to the hospital.

By 2:15, Pack arrived at the hospital. He was shopping at a Food Lion across town that was closing when I called (pretty far away...go figure) and had to leave there to go home and get our bags before he came to the hospital since I didn't bring anything with me. I was so happy to finally see his truck pull up in the parking lot. Him being there brought me instant comfort.

My Favorite Coach!

At 3:15, the doctor came by and we decided to go ahead and break my water since the antibiotic had been started. I was 5 cm when he checked me and he told me that I could walk around as much as I wanted. I decided to wait until the antibiotic had been administered completely before I tried to get up so I didn't have to drag around the machine. When he broke my water, I immediately noticed more pressure on my bottom. The contractions weren't painful at all, but feeling the baby so low during the peak of the contractions was definitely uncomfortable.

Sometime between when my water was broken and 4:00, I noticed that I was having to breathe through the contractions. I never studied "lamaze" or "Bradley" or anything really official, but a prenatal relaxation mp3 that I listened to regularly helped me to practice a simple breathing technique that seemed to really suit me. I would inhale for a count of three through my nose and exhale for a count of six through my mouth. I also tried to listen to music through the contractions so voices and other noises didn't distract me. The first song I heard when I started listening to Pandora was "What'll She Look Like," by Stephen Speaks. I thought it was amazingly appropriate.

Breathing and Music

The nurse told me that my doctor decided to leave for the day as long as I felt comfortable with the doctor on call (whom I had never met, but totally didn't care who delivered me). She came by to meet me and mentioned that since my water had just been broken, she wouldn't check me, but would come around again after five and would check me if I wanted (which I did...I want to know my progress). I figured we'd call my mom to come to the hospital when I was checked then so she wouldn't be sitting around for too long, but Pack told mom to come on anyway and she arrived at 4:35.

Mom didn't have to wait around as long as we thought:)

I was still feeling pretty good when I wasn't having contractions, but found myself slipping away into music and breathing when the contractions would wave over me.

At 5:15, Dr. Davis said I could be disconnected from the IV if I wanted so I could move around easier. I didn't really feel like getting out of the bed, but she checked me and I was 7 cm and said that if I walked around, it would help move things along. I felt instantly better when I stood up...

for about 10 minutes...

I was talking to my dad on the phone when I started feeling really "different." I handed the phone to my mom and looked at Pack and said, "Don't give me the phone again!" I'm assuming this is the mind altering state known as "transition." I went to the bathroom again and thought I felt like staying there for the rest of my pregnancy, but knew I didn't want to have my baby in the toilet. When I finally came out, I typed in my notes, "Need to push?" Five minutes later, I updated with "Yes!!!" I had Pack and the nurse help me back in the bed and I asked when I would be checked again because I KNEW something had changed. I thought my back was going to break in half and I couldn't stand up any longer. Pack got our camcorder out, sat it on the windowsill in view of the side of the bed and started recording from there. (Maybe one day, I'll post the video...you can see how fast things happened from that point on for yourself!)

The urge to push was really intense and the contractions were coming with no break in between at this point. My eyes were closed and concentrating so hard on keeping my breathing rhythmic and slow. I kept arching my back to keep from pushing because I didn't want to start pushing too early, but I could tell my body was starting to push regardless.

At 5:30, Dr. Davis came in the room and started gowning up. Shortly after, I was ready to push and it was such a relief! The contractions gave me a break in between (just as they are supposed to) and I only ended up with a small tear. I'm not sure how many contractions I pushed though, but Anna was born at 5:41.

Dr. Davis (who also has 3 children...2 older boys and her youngest, a girl...named Anna!)

My first baby born without the help of any medication and it was SO WORTH IT! exactly the birth I wanted! As a matter of fact, my only regret was that it didn't last a little longer! I have been fortunate to have short, easy labors with all of my babies, but I was so thankful to be able to really experience this birth.

Holding my girl for the first time!

Anna was 7 pounds, 10 ounces at birth, 20 inches long, and scored two 9's on the APGAR scale. She came out squalling and was put right on my chest where she rested as her Daddy cut the cord for the first time (I was shocked!).

Daddy's first time cutting a cord:)

As soon as I was able to get in a comfortable position, I started nursing her and she picked it right up. I joked with Pack and asked him if he thought she had done that before with someone else!

First feeding.

At some point, I checked to make sure she was actually a girl. She was...the prettiest little girl I had ever seen! Little Anna came into the world quickly and easily and worked here way into our hearts exactly the same way.

I have a daughter!!!

Last Year's Resolution...Year in Review!

2012-01-13T09:07:00.000-05:00

I was feeling pretty ambitious last January. I guess being in a new place gave me a bit of motivation to make some changes to my lifestyle and create some new habits. I think I did okay considering all the outcomes of this past year, so I'm going to summarize what worked and what didn't for me last year.

1. Start quilting. Well, I didn't start quilting, but I did make a baby blanket. You see, I didn't realize that measuring (my mortal enemy) was so important to quilting and as it turns out...I'm lazy. I'm still planning on working on this, but I'm happy that I still ended the year with at least one blanket sewing project.

2. Start a vegetable garden. This is another one that I cheated on...kind of. A friend gave me some patio tomatoes that I planted in pots and we were actually able to harvest a few that the squirrels and dogs didn't get to first. I'm glad I started small. It was a good trial run and maybe this year, we can actually build a garden of sorts.

3. Read a Proverbs a day. I did this off and on throughout the year. I learned something new every time I read the same thing over and especially loved a study I didn't on the Proverbs 31 Woman by Nancy Leigh Demoss. Although I faltered quite a bit on this resolution, I feel like I reaped the most benefits from this one alone!

4. Eat out no more than once a week. We did better on this last year than we thought we would. Especially during my whole "first trimester funk" where I couldn't cook, go in a grocery store, or open my fridge. We definitely ate out more than once a week a lot of times, but we kept pretty close to this goal.

5. Get rid of most of my clothes. Weeelllll....if you count putting all of my clothes in the attic and replacing them with a closet full of maternity clothes, then I did this perfectly! I did manage to get rid of a lot though and now pretty much only have dresses and coats/sweaters in the closet and the rest of my clothes in three drawers. Not bad considering that maternity clothes just take up more space than regular ones!

6. Join and become active in a small group at our new church. We totally did this and it was awesome. Our group decided to split up toward the end of the year though and we are now getting ready to join another one, so long as this baby doesn't decide to come on the day GroupLink is scheduled. Either way, I can't wait to get back into a small group asap!

7. Lose 10 pounds. Or gain 20...hmmmm. Blame this one on the baby too.

8. Renovate our kitchen by the end of the year. We didn't do this at all. Remember how I said the hubs would veto some of these? Well this was one. We did, however, get new windows all over the house (which made a huge difference), and for under $2000 we were able to redecorate our bedroom (including upgrading to a king sized bed), create a nursery, and buy a new-to-us sectional sofa bed for our living room (aka guest room)! Gotta love Craigslist!

9. Teach the boys how to serve others. I guess this is one where I definitely feel through. We did SOME things, but definitely not something organized once a month like I had hoped. I'm keeping this one on the forefront this year and hopefully will do better. I do have to say that despite my slackness, my boys have the kindest, sweetest little hearts I could hope for them to have and for that, I am so thankful and proud!

10. When I think something nice (specifially about my husband), I want to make it a habit to say it, share it, or write it down for him to see. I guess Pack could tell you how I improved on this one. I will say that he's still the most awesome, fun, and loving husband in the WHOLE WORLD and I still find it hard to believe that he somehow wanted to end up with me. I'm such a lucky girl and when I see his traits in our boys, I couldn't be more proud!

11. Make less waste. Okay, this one, I feel good about. I think the only disposable product that we're still really attached to is toilet paper (and we're not giving that one up any time soon). I only bought throw-away plates, cups, and napkins for birthday celebrations this year and we don't even think about paper towels anymore. There were also a few other throw-away products that I switched over to this year and not one of my choices as created more work for me. Awesome!

Bonus: Pack's new year's resolution last year was to not buy any sliced bread from the store for our home (which of course, was one more resolution for me). I got a bread machine last Christmas and I guess he wanted to make sure we got good at using it. I'm proud to say that for the entire year of 2011, we did not buy one loaf of regular sliced bread for sandwiches and such. We did however, occasionally buy things like hotdog buns and tortillas since I don't know how to make those (and didn't feel like trying to learn), but overall...SUCCESS!

The Longest Month

2012-01-12T14:57:00.000-05:00

I knew I would feel this way. January is tough enough in general. The end of the year always flies by because of the holidays and all the festivities and then things tend to turn to sludge in January. Last year, my January was pretty busy because of all the New Year's Resolutions I made. This year...my only resolution is to end the month with a healthy baby. That makes this the longest month ever.

The waiting game.

I'm 37 (and a half) weeks and I'd be thrilled if Little Bean decided to make her appearance any time now. I realize this is just wishful thinking. Even with two previous inductions and being dilated 3-4 cm for weeks prior, I never had a baby before 39 weeks. But seriously...I have done everything I know to get this ball rolling and apparently Anna is not quite ready to come out yet. After my "progress" has been the same for the past two weeks, my doctor jokingly said that I must make a really cozy home for my babies in there. I like to think he's right. She definitely seems pretty happy in there. Honestly though, I realize there's still some cooking to be done and I'm okay to wait through these last few weeks...even if that means Anna has a...cringe...February birthday. And it's not like I just am sitting around with nothing to do. There is cleaning to be done and stuff to be organized because OBVIOUSLY, we cannot bring a baby home to a messy kitchen floor.

On the bright side....my house has never been cleaner. We've gotten a new sofa and we've done away with the "play area" in the living room (which we fondly remember as the "disaster area") and it is amazing how much easier it is to keep an open space neater. Not to mention how much Penn and Jude love having a more open space to run and dance around in. We do a lot of dancing in this house.

New Sectional with built-in-bed!

As an aside about my doctor...he's wonderful. I had wished for a while that I had switched to a midwife in order to have a better chance at a natural childbirth, but I am really happy I didn't leave where I am. My doctor is wonderful and is everything I could possibly want in a midwife. I was pretty concerned about having to be induced due to my GBS colonization, but he completely put my mind at ease. He asked me what my feelings were on inductions in general and I told him that although I had been through two previously, I wanted to avoid another one. He simply said, "Well, that's all we really need to discuss about it then. There's no reason at this point we would even consider that and if you don't want to do it, then I don't want you to either." Wow...there are wonderful OBGYN's out there, and I'm glad that I'm seeing one.

I guess that's about all I can force my mind to think about right now...it's looking and feeling a lot like nap time, so I guess I'll see what I can do about that;)

Celebrating 9 months...with pictures!

2012-01-04T14:35:00.000-05:00

Thanks to a special new friend who planted the seed about taking these pictures for me. Although I was hesitant, nervous, and overall not the best subject to photograph, she left me with a handful of pictures that I will always treasure because they remind me what a miraculous and special gift a new baby is. I can't stop looking at these...that belly is WILD!

Our Bargain Baby!

2011-12-19T22:17:00.000-05:00

As I've mentioned before, this pregnancy was a surprise more than either of my other pregnancies. Although we wanted another baby, our "plan" was to wait until next year (2012) to really make an effort. One of my concerns early on in this pregnancy was how we would afford to get "baby things" during the most expensive time of the year (I've never had a winter baby before). We set a limit of $500 to buy everything for the baby, including a crib, dresser, and carseat, but I had my doubts knowing how expensive these things can be and also knowing that we would need to buy more than just these three things (like clothes and diapers). Even though this was our third child, almost all of our "required" baby gear was still being used by Penn and Jude, had been sold, or given away. We were starting pretty much from scratch and I was stressed about it.

One day, I realized that all the things this baby would "need," were things we already had (mommy's milk, a safe home, and a loving family). Everything else would just be considered extra. I prayed for God to provide us with some of these "extras" and He absolutely did! Every time I look at Anna's completed room, I am so thankful for the way God has shown his love for us. Sometimes, I think we feel guilty for asking God for things we consider to be "frivolous," but we forget that He is the "God of all Comfort," and "The God who Provides!" As I said in this post, God cares about the little things too...the extras.

In this post, I would like to share with you some of the things that He provided us with, once we let him do his thing... (Side note: Isn't it amazing how smoothly things go when we stop trying to control everything???)

Changing Table-$30
Pack bought this from a State Sale while he was traveling with work.

Crib and Mattress-$150
IKEA...we couldn't find a used one in good shape for this price!

Dresser-$20
Happened upon this at a yard sale and repainted it.

Rocking Chair-Free!
My Mother's Day present two years ago that I FINALLY repainted and found a home for:)

The rest of the pictures are things we bought from Craigslist...our favorite resource!
Moses Basket-$30


Carseat (new with tags and no recalls)-$35


Cloth diapers (over 80)-$220

The total amount we spent to furnish the nursery was $485 (under budget!!!) AND we have the added bonus of not needing to add disposable diapers to our shopping list when Anna arrives! Cloth diapers are a little more work, but every time I wash these diapers, I'll be thinking of how much money we're saving by not having to buy disposables. $220 is a great price for diapers for one child that will last from birth until potty training! I've also had a shower given by family where I got a bunch of cute clothes and accessories, bought some clothes on consignment, and received some way-cute hand-me-downs from Anna's cousin, Carmon! We're set!

Good news/Not so good news...

2011-12-12T12:22:00.001-05:00

I had my 32 week check-up this morning (although I'll be 33 weeks tomorrow...oh well) and everything went smoothly. I'm feeling great, baby is growing and in position, and I got to hear that sweet heartbeat. I was mostly excited about the fact (or the FLUKE) that I only gained 2 oz. in the past two weeks. I'm sure the doctor didn't mean that I should leave his office and go to Dunkin Donuts to indulge in a creme-filled donut, a pumpkin muffin, and a sausage, egg, and cheese croissant, but he didn't specify, so I just assumed it was okay... I'm pretty thrilled that I'll probably finish this pregnancy just a little lighter than my end weights with Penn or Jude.

That was the good news.

The not so good news (not really bad...just disappointing, I guess) was when I started asking questions about what being Group B Strep-positive would mean for my upcoming labor and delivery. I had pretty quick labors with both of the boys (even with inductions, which is fairly unusual) and chances are that I'll have another quick one with this little girl. The concerning part is that if I end up at 39 weeks being 4 cm dilated, but not going into labor, odds are I'll end up having another induction so they can make sure I have antibiotics in my system for delivery. I REALLY, REALLY want to avoid an induction for a lot of reasons, but that being said, I want to make sure my baby gets the dose of antibiotics that she needs to protect her. From researching, I know that the risk is small that there would be anything that would go wrong even if we didn't get it, but in this situation (even if it is a precaution more than a necessity), I feel that the risks outweigh the benefits of foregoing the antibiotics, so I will be getting them. On a more positive note, my doctor informed me that generally, a fast labor puts women at lower risks for passing an infection on to their babies, so that actually works in my favor and will give me peace of mind if I actually DO go into labor on my own this time.

Basically, if I start dilating early (as I usually do), then at 37 weeks, all systems are go for plan "Baby Makes Five." This pregnant lady is going to do a lot of walking, eating pineapple, getting foot rubs, and doing "anything else" (wink, wink) that safely and naturally induces labor;). Please pray that the rest of this pregnancy is uneventful and that labor happens on it's own, as this something I really feel would be best for me and baby. The middle of January can't come too soon for me!

One of these things is not like the others...

2011-12-06T11:27:00.001-05:00

From the very early stages of this pregnancy, I have said that it was "different." Originally, "different" meant "miserable," but over the course of the last few months, it's becoming less miserable and just more....ummm..."different."

Here are a few of the differences I've noticed in all of my pregnancies:

Morning Sickness: With this pregnancy, I've actually gotten sick less than either of the others, but during the first 10-12 weeks, I felt sick 24-7. I drank and ate ginger snacks and drinks, I tried accupressure bands, I stopped cooking (or even walking in my kitchen) and I had to stop using almost all of my "natural" home cleaning products because I couldn't stand the smell of vinegar and tea tree oil. I think Pack thought I was in the early stages of death since I wouldn't get off the couch to do anything. It was a tough couple of months.

Heartburn: Whoa...honestly, I didn't even know what heartburn really felt like before this pregnancy. Yuck. Gross. Gag. I'll be glad when my digestive system stops revolting.

Swelling: There hasn't been any. Well, I do have some swelling after I'm on my feet all day and after traveling, but nothing compared to the multiple liters of fluid that were in my legs and feet during my pregnancies with Penn and Jude. My leg/foot swelling was actually pretty legendary at my former workplace and are "fondly" remembered as my "telephone poles" (thanks, Pack).

Weight Gain: After all the fast food I consumed during my first trimester, I'm still shocked it hasn't been more out of hand. The way things are looking, I will weigh about 10 pounds less this pregnancy than at the end of my pregnancies with Penn and Jude (where I ended up tipping the scales at +50lbs and +30lbs higher than my start weight with each child respectively). I'm not done yet, so I hate to make any premature judgments on this, but with every doctor's appointment, I'm shocked I haven't gained more, although my belly definitely looks "bellier!" So far, I've gained 15 pounds...I'm cool with that!

Baby Movement: Most active baby yet (in utero, at least). I've never had one keep me up at night moving, so this makes me really nervous about the little personality to follow...

How I Feel: Overall...less anxious, more impatient. I have decided that this baby will definitely be born as naturally as possible (i.e., no epidural or induction), so there is some nervousness that comes with this decision, but overall, I know I can birth a baby and I think the birth process will be much more enjoyable if it happens the way it was designed to. I do feel that I'm having to educate myself from scratch on the labor and birth process, but I'm learning a ton and looking forward to putting all my new knowledge into practice. I'm so ready to do this.

Getting Prepared: The baby's room has been completed for a month now. Unprecedented. Yeah...we could use a second coat of paint on the walls and a few pieces of art, but so long as she has clean sheets to sleep on and a few diapers lying around, I feel prepared.

Big Difference: IT'S A GIRL! I still am not 100% sold on this (which is why the nursery is painted blue with girly fabrics (easy to change if we're wrong), but I think this is the main reason this pregnancy has been so different. I will not be suffering any gender disappointment if "Anna" turns out to be a "Silas (my choice for boy's name)," but I have had fun shopping in the "pink" department in the meantime:)

And just for comparison, here are a few pictures taken from each of my pregnancies...

8 Months with Penn (round all over)!

9 Months with Jude...whoa!

8 Months with Anna...hanging in there!

On cloth diapering...

2011-11-16T14:29:00.001-05:00

I've almost hit the 30-week mark in this pregnancy and I'm starting to try to wrap my head around all the practical preparations that I'll need to make before little Anna makes her arrival. The nursery is baby-ready and we've gotten a sweet little Moses Basket all ready for her to lay her sweet little head in. I've gotten a lot wiser by this third go-round. I'm not so focused on making sure I've got a baby bath (which I never used with Penn or Jude anyway), or a high chair (which we won't be needing for quite some time), or things like that. But, what I am realizing that I don't have, but will need is diapers...and a lot of them!

Penn and Jude were both diapered in the modern-traditional way...disposables...and aside from cringing from the amount of money we spent buying pack after pack, I didn't really consider anything else. Then, when Jude was 17 months old (or so...I can't exactly remember), I made the switch to cloth diapering 24-7. We used gDiapers (not the most economical choice for cloth diapering, but I was able to score all of my diapers used on Craigslist and only spent less than $200 for all of my supplies (covers, liners, cloth inserts, and detergent) to last me until he was potty trained (which, as it turns out happened about three months later)...AND they are still in great shape to use again when Anna is big enough! We were really happy with the choice and I was shocked at how simple cloth diapering really was and how nice it was to not have to worry about ever running out of diapers. I was so excited about them, I even wrote a review here on the blog!

So anyway...Baby #3 is on the way and I haven't considered that I would do anything else besides cloth diaper this little girl. But since I've never cloth diapered a newborn before, I need a little advice from some veterans...

Do I need to buy "newborn" cloth diapers or will "smalls" be sufficient assuming I have another 8lb baby?
How many diapers will I need to have on hand?
Are there any "issues" with cloth diapering a newborn that I should be prepared for?
Considering that I'll probably have some disposables that I received as gifts, would it be too rough on a newborn's skin to switch back and forth (I only ask because I had problems with Jude's little hiney breaking out whenever I switched back and forth)?
Finally, since one of the huge factors in me cloth diapering is the "frugal" quality, what are your best tips for scoring great deals on cloth diapers? I've had good luck on Craigslist for gDiapers, but I'd be interested in some other sources as well. They don't have to be super cute or girly...but I do want them work well.
Is there anything I'm missing???

Permission granted...

2011-11-08T17:37:00.001-05:00

By writing a publishing this post, I hereby give myself permission to:

Forget about how much weight I gain or how big my belly will get. The scale WILL go up and my belly WILL get big...really big. It's okay. I won't be pregnant forever.
Feel entitled to get special treatment because I'm pregnant (or a mom, or a woman, or a human...whichever excuse works to get a foot/back rub). I'm not above groveling. This can also apply to other situations designed to make life easier for a pregnant woman (i. e., I am going to start looking for the "expectant mothers" parking spaces.)
Shop in the girls' department without having to retrace my steps back to the boys department to get Penn and Jude something. They have lots. Anna...not so much.
Ask for help. With chores. Or watching the boys. Or getting me off the couch (it's hard work these days...). Just ask.
Just say no, sometimes. To laundry. To taking Penn and Jude somewhere every. single. day. To getting off the couch (I said, "sometimes," not forever.).

Basically, my goal in the this third trimester is to loosen up and resist the urge to stress over those things I normally stress about. Being pregnant is amazing (even the third time) and I want to be able to enjoy these last few weeks before Baby Girl makes her grand debut. Because then, I figure, she'll be the one granting permission.

Happy THINGSgiving Month;)

2011-11-04T10:51:00.000-04:00

This morning, when Penn and Jude came to our bed for our morning snuggle (or their morning wake-up wiggles), we were talking about what day it was. Penn asked, "Is this the month where we give people things?" I assumed he was talking about Christmas, but in fact, he's just been misunderstanding us when we've been telling him that it's "Thanksgiving month" and we are supposed to be giving THANKS (not things) for everything and everyone. We enjoyed our little morning chuckle:)

On that note, here are a few things I'm thankful for this week:

Kisses from "super-heroes."
A husband who likes to thrift shop.
Feeling little Anna's hiccups for the first time this week.
Finding a store that is actually selling baking pumpkins after Halloween!
Having two churches (here and in SC) that we feel connected to.
A Savior that has been so patient with me as I learn how to hear and obey His voice and be more aware of Him working around me.

Reassurance.

2011-10-18T22:03:00.000-04:00

Today I got some annoying news. My doctor's office called to let me know that my glucose tolerance test came back "high," which meant I failed Part I of the gestational diabetes test and I need to come back and take the three hour version...hooray. And, OH YEAH, my hemoglobin/hematocrit levels were low, so I need to start an iron regimen to combat my anemia.

I won't lie...I cried about it. At the risk of sounding whiny, I had a horrible headache all day after I took the one hour test for GD and iron pills notoriously destroy my stomach and make me feel miserable. The thought of having to do either of these things made me want to throw up, but that being said, I just wanted to get it over with right away. Unfortunately, that was not to be either, so it looks like I'll have to dread it for another week or so.

Now, I know I was a little over-dramatic to cry about it. After all, I failed the one hour test with Penn and passed (just barely) the three hour test. And then with Jude, I passed the one hour test, but ended up being placed on the GD diet anyway later in my pregnancy, so I really shouldn't have been surprised. Not to mention, I'm on iron pills at least once every year. Crazy hormones...

So, I ended up feeling pretty annoyed for the rest of the day and was not looking forward to going to my class for Experiencing God tonight. As a matter of fact, when I realized that I would have to leave our house without eating supper in order to make it on time, I almost decided that it wouldn't hurt me to stay home one night, but finally I decided that for some reason, I just wanted to go.

So I went. I was hungry and had to use the restroom mega-bad, but had no extra time to satisfy my appetite or my bladder. I shuffled into my chair and found a stack (or smiley face shaped assortment) of little candies sitting at my seat as if someone knew I might need a little chocolate to tide me over until I got the chance to eat my supper. Then, as I got a little more settled, one of my classmates, who I haven't even met personally, walked over to me with two of the cutest little flower pops made from baby spoons and baby washcloths. She said she wanted to give them to me for my baby on the way. Such a small token that meant a lot to me.

Aren't they cute? I'm totally stealing this idea...

After a long, emotionally exhausting day, she reminded me that I was where I needed to be. And I am so glad I didn't miss it. So, to this nice lady (who's name I forgot to ask...I know...so slack), thank you for going out of your way to do something nice for someone you didn't even know. You could have never known what a big impact that little gesture would make:)

God and the Little Things...

2011-10-05T15:08:00.000-04:00

This is pretty choppy, but I'm pretty excited about it. I couldn't figure out a way to write about this without it simply being a jumble of my thoughts, but I decided to put it out there anyway. I hope you can find the meaning in it that I did.

Today I thought of something that I wanted (well really, it's something I've been wanting and trying to get for a little while now and it just hasn't worked out yet). It was a somewhat selfish want...nothing like wanting health for my family or world peace or anything, but just something I wanted for Pack and I and our new baby girl. No biggie.

After working through my Experiencing God workbook this morning, I had a rush of thoughts...

I wondered if what I wanted was something that was necessary for my home or just something for my and my family's comfort and enjoyment. (comfort and enjoyment)

I wondered if God would be angry at me for interrupting His business of "preparing for eternity" while I ask Him to provide for something small. (Would I be angry at my children for asking me to provide something small for them...HELLO...Christmas lists, anyone?)

I wondered what would happen if I just simply asked God for what I wanted and trusted that He would provide it. (Either He would provide it, or He wouldn't...either way, I would survive)

So I did. I selfishly, yet confidently asked God to provide me a way to get the couple of things that I had been wanting for our home in a way that would be impossible for me to do myself.

A strange series of events happened then. Initially, I had an urge to write down exactly what I had asked for (which I didn't do because they boys got hungry and I had to make lunch). Then, I forgot all about what I had originally wanted. It completely left my mind, which was pretty unusual considering I've been thinking about it multiple times every day for a while now. And finally...my husband called me (within a few hours) and told me that we were probably going to be seeing a little extra money in the next month or so, thanks to some changes that his work made (which will provide what I wanted plus extra!!!).

WHAT???!!!

Yep...by lunchtime, the God of the universe had shown me that He cares about my comfort and enjoyment...God cares about the little things. He showed me that when I simply ask for something AND leave Him in charge (that's the kicker), He will provide it or something better. God wants me to rely on Him for my every need and to express my wants to Him as well.

That was easy.

Matthew 6:25-27 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

Three.

2011-10-02T22:21:00.000-04:00

My joy :)

I was reading the other day about a friend that just found out she's expecting her third baby (Congrats again, Chelsea!) and I was thinking to myself, "Wow...I can't believe she's going to have three children!" Then I thought again and said to myself, "Whoa...wait a minute...I'M GOING TO HAVE THREE CHILDREN!"

It's amazing that I forget sometimes that this belly is going to someday turn into a baby, but I do. The fact is, it never seems real until you bring that empty belly and lump of a baby home from the hospital. There's no getting prepared for children. You can prepare your house, but you can never really be prepared for how YOUR little baby is going to change your life.

The funny thing is, even though I know that and even though I know how much crazier life can be with each additional child...I can't say three is it for me (and if Pack is reading this, he's probably cringing right now). I just don't know how I can ever say that I'm done and I am a little jealous of the people I know who can "commit" to being DONE. Very simply, I'm in love with the craziness of this life that we have been given and my children truly feel like a gift...how could I turn down more?

Are the pregnancy hormones making me crazy or what???

Rock me to sleep, Jesus

2011-09-20T22:04:00.001-04:00

I'm taking an "Experiencing God" class at my church right now and the topic of quiet time came up tonight. A consistent quiet time with God is always something that I struggle with and obviously, I'm not alone. While we were discussing the topic tonight, someone chimed in with the response that we sometimes focus on the "block" of time we put aside for God, somehow thinking that if we put in our time, we can check "Time with God" off the list for the day and go about business as usual thinking that He'll bless that.

We're too busy to think about God during the day and then we're too tired at night. Sounds like the life of a mom, right?

I know, as a mom of two (soon to be three) young ones, I spend many of my days in survival mode where I am in a constant state of exhaustion and motion and I can't really tell anyone why. At the end of the day, the house is still a mess, we've done nothing educational, and sometimes haven't even stepped out of the front door. Those are the days that life happens, I guess and as little time as I might have spent doing scholarly Bible study, those are also the days that I most desire to hear from my Savior. When I crawl into bed some nights, I think about a passage that I read a long time ago in an awesome book by Brennan Manning. He says,

The greatest gift any ragamuffin can receive from Jesus is the Abba experience. Jesus says we are to go to God with the unaffected simplicity of a child with his daddy. In poignant psalm expressing childlike trust in God, David says, 'Enough for me to keep my soul tranquil and quiet like a child in its mother's arms, as content as a child that has been weaned.' (13:12) The little one is not an infant, but a weaned youngster of two or three who had been toddling around exploring the mysteries of his father's flashlight, key chain, and assorted coins left on an end table. The little ragamuffin suddenly wearies and staggers back into his mother's arms. Soothed by her affectionate words as she strokes his hair, the little guy falls asleep, tranquil and quiet.
Jesus invites us to become like a little child, to crawl into Abba's arms and let Him love on us. Though, as Alan Jones notes, "the most difficult part of mature faith is to allow ourselves to be the object of God's delight."
-- Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel, p. 234.

As I'm learning more about God and who He is and what His will is for my life, I'm able to understand that God doesn't want me to pencil Him into my morning. He wants me to let Him weave himself into the fabric of my everyday (messy, crazy, unorganized) life. He doesn't see me as a student to be taught, but a child to be loved on. And if there's anything that I know for sure, it's that as a parent, you cherish those moments that your child crawls into your lap just to be close to you. We don't get angry when our precious children fall asleep in our arms, so why would God be upset with us when we fall asleep with thoughts of Him? So when the gears in my mind don't want to stop turning at the end of a busy day, I'm going to let my mind wander into my Jesus' lap and let Him rock me to sleep.

"At day's end, I'm ready for sound sleep; for you, God, put my life back together."
Psalm 4:8

Top This...

2011-09-14T21:30:00.000-04:00

A good night's sleep.

Seriously. Those have been few and far between lately. Between my growing belly, my shrinking bladder, and an injured shoulder on my right side, I have not been able to get comfortable at night lately. I'm fine sleeping on my left side...for a while. But then, I need to turn. And there's nowhere to go. And it stinks.

Then there's my boys. Penn rarely has ever slept through the night and usually comes in our room at least once only to be sent back to his room. This usually wakes Jude up who is not so easily directed back to he bed, so he ends up snuggling with us for a while, which brings Penn back in the room because "that's not fair," and so forth. We sleep in a queen bed (although we REALLY REALLY want a king asap) and the problem is clear as to why four-across is not comfortable. Add into the mix that Jude INSISTS on sleeping on my right arm (hence the shoulder injury...thanks, kiddo), and I usually wake up into one grumpy mama!

But last night...I slept. No one woke me up in the middle of the night, my shoulder did not feel as if it was on fire when I laid on it, and I didn't have to go to the bathroom not even once! Heaven for this tired gal! I realize that tonight maybe just the opposite, but I am so thankful for one night of peaceful slumber...and these days, you can't top that!

Baby name...CHECK!

2011-09-09T19:39:00.000-04:00

I still can't believe it...

Penn (a.k.a.. Daniel Packard V) never had a "girl name." We knew our first boy would be a namesake for Pack and we'd come up with a nickname, but amazingly, we never discussed girl names at all. With Jude, after much deliberation, we had his "girl name" all picked out (although we never put a lot of thought into boy names until after we found out his gender). His girl name would have been Riley Kay. Fortunately, he ended up being a little boy, so we got to have a little fun with his name and choose something that meant something to us (Jude=a Biblical name with a good song and sounded good with Penn, and Tillman=for Tillman Hall at Clemson University where Pack graduated). It all worked out because after a while, I decided I didn't really like the name Riley anyway. It bothered me that Penn had a name with such great family heritage from both sides of our family and the next baby would have had a name that we just liked. I wanted the name to have a story (and preferably a really good song). For the record, I don't think there's anything wrong with choosing a name for your children that you simply like the sound of, but I wanted an equal amount of thought and sentiment to go into each of my children's names.

And BOY did a lot of thought (and arguments and maybe a few tears) go into this one...

Anna Hazel

I had been thinking of the name Anna Hazel since after Jude was born. Ann is a name that has been used in a lot of girl names in my family (my former middle name was DiANNe, as a matter of fact). My mom's sister Ann is the eldest of eight children in her family, and although she has no children of her own, she has been like a mom to all of her nieces and nephews. I've always wanted to be able to honor her by including her name in a little girl's name (if I ever had one). My Aunt Ann is definitely the female leader in our family and is the best planner/hostess/baby holder you will ever meet. Anna is going to adore her.

Hazel was my Grandmother on my Dad's side of the family. She, along with her twin sister, Hallie, kept my twin sister and I from the time we were born until we were able to stay home by ourselves. They taught us so, so much, and left us with a ton of awesome memories, but I'm always wishing we had paid attention even more. We spent our time with them serving others, picking whatever vegetables or other foods were in season (WHEREVER they were in season), making crafts and home goods, and visiting relatives that I would probably have never know otherwise. They definitely had a huge influence on the woman that I am now and I see a lot of both of them in me more and more every day.

The name for my new baby girl may seem ordinary or old fashioned to some, but the women that the name represents were and are truly extraordinary and I can't wait until the day when she understands where her name came from. I know she'll be proud of it!

Blessings in the Storm

2011-08-29T23:50:00.000-04:00

We are finally home from a really exciting, but really exhausting vacation. We combined a birthday trip for the two of us (which I will blog about later) with a trip home to visit family and BOY was it an eventful week! Aside from the fun things we had planned, we (along with the rest of the East Coast) dealt with an earthquake at the beginning of last week (whose epicenter was about 30 miles outside of our home) and a hurricane toward the end.

When we left Virginia last Friday (the 19th), we had no idea of what we would be missing...and I'm so thankful for so many things. I was thankful that the earthquake wasn't more powerful than a 5.8, thankful that no one I know was hurt, and most importantly, thankful that we weren't home (because Pack would have been on the road and I would have been home with the boys...FREAKING OUT!). And an earthquake is a scary thing, not even taking into consideration all the aftershocks that have continued to happen. The scary part for us was that we had no idea if anything inside our house was damaged. We would have to wait to get home to find out (not a thing was out of place, by the way...thankful).

And then there was Irene...

When we left Virginia, we knew there was a tropical storm in the ocean and we knew it was probably going to make landfall, but we figured it would probably strike the coastal areas (of which we are not), so we didn't make a lot of serious preparations before we left. Just the normal security type stuff. Then, while we were in San Francisco, we learned that Virginia was going to be pretty hard hit and all my friends in Midlothian were making emergency preparations. We were thankful once again that we weren't home and that our boys would be safe in South Carolina while we were in hurricane-free California. I knew we had a lot of trees around our home, but there wasn't a whole lot we could do about it, so we just didn't dwell on the worst case scenario and spend the time sightseeing and enjoying our time. Then, on Saturday my next-door-neighbor called and I knew it must be bad news. They were in the thick of the storm and called to let us know that a tree from their yard had fallen onto Pack's work truck....which was parked in the driveway next to the house. They couldn't be sure there wasn't any damage done to the house itself, so once again, we had to just wait it out and see.

Well, we got home today and once again, we were thankful. The tree that fell crushed the windshield of Pack's truck, but there was hardly any damage anywhere else on the truck. Thankful. Our house was unscathed (minus the yard, which is a wreck). Thankful. We have awesome neighbors that pulled out their chainsaw and went to town on the tree with Pack to make sure it was going to be light enough to move safely. Thankful. About five other men (three of which, we hardly even know), spent part of their Monday afternoon, lifting the giant walnut tree off of the truck while I backed it out the driveway. Super-thankful. Although the windshield was shattered, there was no water damage to any of Pack's things inside the cab. Pack was thankful. And the tree itself was VERY close to our house. If we had been home, the family van would have probably been crushed instead. If the tree had rolled off the truck, or fallen just a few inches in other directions, there would probably have been damage to the house. As we cleaned up the yard and dragged branches and limbs to the curb, we couldn't complain about a thing. We. just. felt. THANKFUL. Thankful and glad to be home.

Oh, and we never liked that walnut tree anyway;)

TIMBER!!!

That was close...

The silver bullet saved the house!

The damage. Could be worse!

Little Penn was working hard. Jude was not interested.

Blowing sawdust out of the driveway. Don't worry it's battery operated:)

Little Kicks...

2011-08-12T09:30:00.000-04:00

So, this is how I imagine Little Bean in my belly (sans the over-permed hair and the bad outfit). I'm still amazed that I can already feel this baby move! I'm 15 weeks (just this Tuesday) and last night I felt him (or her) moving so strongly that it startled me. Those little one or two inch legs are pretty powerful. I actually was able to feel the kicks with my hand and see them a bit. If I hadn't made Pack check it out, I would have thought it was in my imagination, but he felt it too and it (of course) freaked him out. Something about there being a living, growing baby inside another person's body fascinates him and terrifies him all at the same time. It's pretty funny.

This is where my pregnancies become so real to me. I start daydreaming more and more about holding that sweet baby in my arms. I'm so excited. It will be another month before I find out what we're having, but I really haven't been thinking about that as much lately. I think most people assume that I'm dying for a girl (and I'd be lying if I said I don't drool over little newborn baby girl clothes), but like I've told some friends recently, "How could I not want another boy after the two sweet, cutie-pies that I've already got?" Seriously. These boys are my heart and as much as would like to think I'd be a great Mama to a little girl, I KNOW I was meant to bring up boys. What a messy/busy/active/loud JOY they are. I'm so thankful.

I'm also getting back into my pregnancy groove (thank you second trimester!). I've got more energy, the worst symptoms are practically gone, and I'm looking more and more like a pregnant lady. As much as my first trimester tried to convince me that this baby was going to be "it," I'm starting to dig being pregnant again. And if I completely ignore the scale (and the fact that Penn and Jude keep telling me that the baby feels "squishy"), I feel pretty awesome.

So here's to the remaining 25 (or so) weeks. I'm finally up for the challenge:)

What Works for Us...right now

2011-08-08T09:55:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, I wrote this post, kind of dictating the struggle we were going through with Penn's current stage. After I wrote it, I really became conscious of what kinds of things I would say and do to try and get Penn to cooperate when we were in a tense situation. I thought I would share with you, a few things from my arsenal that have worked (although they may not work every time).

This first strategy is something that I've been doing a lot lately. I read about this idea on a blog months ago (but I don't remember which one). I can't help but think this would be beneficial for a lot of age groups. As a matter of fact, if I were still teaching fifth grade, I could see myself saying this a lot. It's just four simple words: "Let's try that again." What I realized is that children (and adults even) sometime say the first thing that comes to their mind. When my husband asks me if I can iron his clothes for work, my whole body wants to say, "No!" But I know he needs clean, neat clothes to wear to work and as much as I hate ironing, I do it because I want him to feel confident at work. But as an adult, I usually know how to bite my tongue an think about things before I share them (as Pack has told me, rightfully so..."Kimberly, you don't always have to say EVERTHING that's on your mind.") On the same note, when I ask Penn to pick up the blueberries off the kitchen floor that fell down there while he was eating, his first instinct is to tell me "No, you can do it." Why yes I can (and probably faster and better), but that doesn't teach a lot of responsibility, does it? When I say, "Let's try that again," it really helps him rethink the situation and make the decision on his own to do the right thing. Most times, that's all it takes.

There are times when the above strategy doesn't work. My next attempt is usually this quick question. "Are you going to choose to obey Mommy or to disobey by not doing what I've asked you?" It's amazing that he's old enough to understand these words, but what also impresses me is that every single time, he wants to obey. He wants to follow the rules. Whether it's cleaning his room or going to time out when he's sent, by giving him the chance to think about consciously breaking the rules (and getting consequences), this question will usually end whatever conflict has started. It also helps to keep me cool-headed in a tense situation.

My boy still hates to clean. Really hates it. So in that situation, I have started following the advice of another friend. Anything that has not been picked up in a reasonable amount of time goes in a trash bag. The trash bag goes in the garage. After a week (or so), I'll give him another chance to take the toys out of the trash bag and put them where they belong. If they don't end up where they supposed to go the second time around, they will get trashed or donated. Penn MIGHT get his Mobigo back today...

The same friend who suggested the above strategy, also told me months ago about something else that she does when her kids are fighting over toys. It works beautifully. It's called "toy time-out." When Penn and Jude are fighting over a toy, I don't try to figure out who had it first. I take it away and put it in a "spot" until they agree to share or take turns. They will almost always choose to share rather than not have the toy at all.

When all else fails...

Penn is finally old enough to know what it means when I tell him to go to his room and lay on his bed (or if we are in public, I tell him we're going to the car to sit). I try to save this one for when nothing else seems to work because I want it to have impact. This sometimes results in him screaming, crying, growling, or whatever else he might think would let me know how he really feels. As awful as these times are, I just remind him that it's okay to be mad at mommy or mad at his behavior, but he still has to have consequences. When something doesn't go my way, I get furious. Why do we adults think it's not acceptable for kids to get upset either? After I let him get some screaming out, I tell him to stop whenever he feels like talking and we can discuss. I never prompt this, but he almost always follows the crying with, "I'm sorry for breaking the rules, Mommy." And I always forgive him (even though it's hard to let go). And then there's usually a nap around the corner...all that crying really can wear a boy out;)

It's amazing the perspective that can change with some sleep. I have even found that when I can't seem to pull it together to stay calm enough to try anything that I mentioned above, it's usually because I'm the one that needs some sleep! Keeping that in mind, really changes my outlook.

Now I'm going to put a disclaimer out there and tell you that this hasn't solved every discipline problem we've had and good parenting, is all about learning what works best for you and your family. I also hope that some of my mom friends that have struggled with not knowing how to discipline their preschoolers find something here that will work for them (or if you've tried any of these, please share your experience). Please remember, although I'm not up for a parenting debate (it's hard enough being a parent without having to defend every decision that you make), I'm always open to new advice, so please share YOUR strategies for dealing with conflicts with your kiddos also. It never hurts to share what works...it may help someone else!

No plans, just go.

2011-07-30T20:18:00.000-04:00

My awesome hubby told us earlier this week that he wanted to take the kids (and me, of course) to Virginia Beach since we hadn't actually been to a beach at all this summer. Out of the two of us, I am definitely more of the "planner" (which actually doesn't say much because I'm actually not a planner at all) and Pack is usually the "anti-decision maker" (because, well...he has a VERY difficult time committing to dates and thinking ahead unless it's work-related). BUT....he booked us a hotel for a night and got us all psyched up for an overnight vacation (which, to be honest, is about all we can handle with out little guys lately).

Our plan was to have a nice supper, let the boys get some energy out in the hotel pool, and then hit the hay so we could have lots of go-juice for the beach on Saturday. We did all those things, but it didn't go as smoothly as we had planned. We had our celebratory supper (celebrating not cooking, of course) at the Cheesecake Factory and realized we were demonstrating why many restaurants are banning children these days. We saw not just one, but three couples opt to wait longer for table than sit next to us (Oh, WHY didn't they let us have a booth????). In our defense, we had to eat and at least we went early before the crowd really started pouring in...

On the walk back to the hotel, we passed a cute little cupcake shop and I thought a little sugar would help get my stress level back on track, so we picked up some to have after our swim and hurried on to hit the pool. The pool was great and the boys had fun (after Jude got over his 15 minutes of being terrified of the cold water and begging for the hot tub). We thought after a nice dessert, bath, and prayers, the boys would go right to sleep while we watched HGTV. We were wrong. It took Jude an hour to give up the fight (after many threats) and then Penn decided he didn't want to be awake alone and tried to wake Jude up by bending his finger backwards. What was he thinking???!!! After settling that, we cut the T.V. off and we all drifted off to sleep.

This morning, our boys woke up with plenty of "go-juice." We were all eager to get out of the little hotel room and hit the beach. After an awesome breakfast at our hotel and a quick shopping trip for beach snacks and a couple more toys, we were ready. Getting a parking place close to our spot, was grossly expensive, but worth it when we were having to lug a beach bag, shovels, buckets of toys, umbrella, and two wild little men across a busy street. Once we touched the sand though, we hit our stride.

From mid-morning until mid-afternoon, we did a lot of playing in the water and a lot of this:

Yeah...I'm the mom that packs a disposable cup and spoon for sand toys...so what!

Filling the bucket with sand so I could dump it over and break it...oops!

Sweet beach baby:)

It was pretty fun getting sandy...and thanks, Pack for not making me look like a fatty:)

Hey mom...you sunscreened your boys, now would be a good time to sunscreen yourself!

Beach play wipes you out!

More creative sand toys:)

When we decided it was time to go, we grabbed hot dogs for the boys, some Chick-fil-a for us, and we were homeward bound. It was a great trip and I'm so thankful that our life here allows us to make no "real" plans and just go. I'm also thankful for a husband who knows how to "roll with it" and take some initiative when I don't even know that I need him to. We had a blast and I can't wait to go back!

Hellloooo Second Trimester!

2011-07-21T18:20:00.001-04:00

I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to say those words. Let's face it...this baby has made me pretty miserable these first 12 weeks, but it looks like the tides are turning! I started feeling a little more human about a week ago, but then we had a very busy weekend of LOTS of traveling and late nights. Needless to say, it took me a while to recover. I'm proud to say I've been Phenergan-free for three days now (a big deal, even though I was only taking half a pill before bed each night) and tonight I made my first home-cooked meal in...a long time. And it's not chicken nuggets or anything frozen either...HA!

Dinner's a big deal because I literally have not been able to stomach the thought of cooking for a huge percentage of this pregnancy. Honestly, I don't even like to grocery shop and I normally LOVE to shop here! But today I made a decision to subscribe to a meal planning program that will make my shopping trips less stressful and I don't have to think ahead as much (because, as we all know, thinking and pregnancy do not go well together). It's a highly-recommended site and it only costs me $1.25 per week (paid every three months). It's a price I'm happy to pay to be able to provide healthy meals for my family again. If you aren't organized or motivated (ME! ME!) enough to plan your own meals right now, definitely check out E-Mealz.com. From what I can tell, the meals are simple and can be customized to a particular diet (low-fat, gluten-free, etc.) or even to what store you shop at (Walmart, Kroger, etc.). I can't wait to try out some more and get some new meals into our rotation.

In closing, I'll leave you with a picture of our first E-Mealz attempt and my first homeade attempt at much of anything lately. If you try it, let me know what you think! (By the way, this is obviously a picture of the leftovers...lunch tomorrow-CHECK!)

Chicken and Wild Rice Casserole (not pretty, but yummy and easy on the heartburn)

Typical Jude

2011-07-14T11:11:00.000-04:00

We're in Florence now, which means I get to sleep in while the kids wake up and watch cartoons with Grandaddy and gorge themselves on chocolate chip cookies every morning (Why fight it when we're staying at Grandma's for free???). Anyway, I was happy that this trip home coincided with some other fun things like Vacation Bible School at "the old church" and my Daddy's birthday (which is today...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY!). Mom asked me if I would decorate a sheet cake for him if she made it and since I LOVE my daddy AND my mom's cakes, I said, "Certainly!" Now I don't do cakes very often...mainly just family birthdays and I've always known that I could never sell them. There are three main reasons for this:

1. I don't think my cakes look good enough to sell (and I'm not just being modest.)
2. I get tired of doing it VERY quickly.
3. Jude...read on.

I thought originally that I should wait until the boys were napping to give it a go (that "thought" was actually the voice of reason and good sense), but then I reconsidered thinking that I might want a nap as well. Bad idea. The cake itself didn't take very long and I thought it turned out pretty cute since I only had three colors to work with. I sent Pack a picture of it with the message, "How does this look? By the way, it's too late to make changes, so tell me good things:)" Here was the finished product with some wonky stripes.

Less than one minute after I took this picture, I left the kitchen to find the large cake box that my mom had put in a hallway closet for me to put the cake it. I new it didn't have a chance to stay uncovered. I was gone two minutes...two minutes too long. When I came back, Jude was holding a broom and the cake looked like this...

I sent Pack a picture with another message that said, "I could cry." I really almost did. After reminding myself that I am NOT an abusive parent, I "monitored and adjusted." This was my best attempt at fixing it...

And it's not even lunch time yet... Oh well, Happy Birthday to my sweet, loving, handy-man Daddy. Hope you like the cake that YOUR grandson and I made together;) Love you tons!

Where I Am

2011-07-09T10:32:00.000-04:00

For me, it doesn't matter how many times I've been through this, I'm always reminded of how precious and fragile a baby is. I'm 10 weeks now and although my morning sickness is not completely gone yet, I'm definitely feeling good more than bad. But I'm painfully aware of how welcome even the bad is for women that are longing for their babies. I'm really trying hard not to focus on my sickness, but to give thanks for each week that passes. This baby is growing and I have the muffin top to prove it;)

My two little big boys though are really...ummmm...teaching me a lot lately about discipline. You can hear me yelling "NO, JUDE!!!!!!!!" all throughout the house lately because little man has either spilled powder all over the bathroom, gotten a stubborn stain on the carpet, dumped the sugar dish in the kitchen, or some done something else that my hormones perceive as a disaster. And a conversations with Penn lately goes something like this:

Me: Penn, please clean up your room.
Penn: Um, no thanks, but thanks for asking.
Me: I wasn't asking, Penn...clean it!
Penn: No...you can do it.

And that's usually as far as I make it before I start losing it...I am not known for my patience. I feel like I've tried all my tricks. I've asked nicely, I've made it a game, I've done time out, I've taken away his costumes (which is huge), I've put him on t.v. and computer restriction, and I've spanked (which doesn't seem to work for us, by the way), but nothing seems to work and I'm exhausted. So if you've got any fresh thoughts on the "Penn refuses to follow directions" situation, I would be most willing to try. I'm pretty desperate.

I do however, LOVE my boys and I know God is using them to help point out a lot of flaws in my own character. Maybe I'm the one that needs to be worked on the most. Well...I guess that's all I've got for now. And Jude just got too quiet, so I should probably check that out...

First Trimester blahs...

2011-06-16T12:31:00.000-04:00

Just so you know, I have every intention of this blog turning into a pregnancy blog temporarily. I'm sure I'll still be putting up family updates and other things every now and then, but now that my "secret" is out, I really just want a place to commiserate with some sympathetic friends.

That being said, here we go...

First and foremost, this pregnancy was a surprise. We knew we wanted at least one more baby, but our plan was not to try for another baby until the end of the year. Obviously, God had other plans (YAY!). I began to suspect I was pregnant or that I was anemic (again) when I started getting really, really sleepy at like 9:30 or 10 in the morning. I was struggling to get up in the morning and to stay awake if I was still at any point during the day. Pack went out of town with work and I took the boys with me to the store to buy a pregnancy test and I took it as soon as I got home.

I smiled.

After the realization set it, I got really nervous about telling Pack. Should I wait until he got home to tell him, call him immediately, or wait and send him a picture (that picture) later? I opted to send the picture. That may sound tacky, but here's why... When I found out I was pregnant with Penn and Jude, Pack (God love him) had a less than desirable reaction, in my opinion. He had to lay down after he found out about Penn and with Jude, he didn't really say much, but went to work. He was fine later and made me feel much better, but I guess that's the way things have to sink in for him. He needs a little time...it shocks him every time. So, having learned the hard way, I texted him the picture and he called to verify what it was. I could tell he was going through his "thing" so I told him that he could react however he wanted and then react the way I wanted him to when he got home the next day (aren't I a good wife???). It worked beautifully. I was greeted with a warm hug and the excitement my heart needed as soon as he walked in the door.

His plan was to wait to tell everyone until Fathers' Day weekend, which was four weeks away at that point. I didn't really like that plan, especially since I had already told two people (like I said, I'm not good at secrets...). But as the first trimester started wearing on me, I wanted to let people know what was up.

Mainly, I wanted to be able to complain to someone because I. felt. like. crap. I was managing the the fatigue, cramps, headaches, backaches, bloating, moodiness, and all that fun stuff. But this week, the morning sickness hit me like a truck. Within two days, I knew this was not what I had been through with Penn and Jude. I can barely be in a vertical position for more than a few minutes without feeling nauseous. And to make things worse, I can't actually get sick to relieve the feeling at all. It's just nauseousness all day. I'll get a craving for something and then by the time I can get it, the thought of eating (or smelling) it disgusts me. At this point, I can't even open my refrigerator. Poor Penn and Jude. Lots of take-out and T.V. for us lately.

Needless to say, this has been a LONG week! I'm hoping my body adjusts and things level out so that I can get some relief. I want to be able to cook for my family again at some point. At least my boys are treating me well. They are trying their hardest to take care of me and not cause too much trouble (although messes seem to follow Jude around). And my sweet husband is being awesome...picking up some of my slack by preparing meals, watching the boys, or folding laundry, and showing the perfect amount of sympathy for me. I love him.

Hopefully, my next post won't be such a pity party, but I gotta be real. And my new mantra? "This too shall pass."

The Secret's Out!

2011-06-09T17:40:00.000-04:00

Secrets...

2011-06-09T11:29:00.000-04:00

I hate them. I mean, I love the juicy stuff that secrets are made of, but I just can't seem to keep them. And I've got one right now. I can't even think of anything to blog about except this secret (that may not be the best-kept secret already) and I know that it will continue to be part of my writer's block until it's completely out. So until then, I'm avoiding my blog. Just wanted to put it all out there without really putting anything out there...

Our Guinea Pig is Four!

2011-05-21T17:03:00.001-04:00

Sweet, sweet Penn...I don't want to believe he's four. I distinctly remember telling Pack when we had just brought our baby home from the hospital that I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a four-year-old. He seemed so still, good, quiet, and perfect, and I loved him so much more that I ever imagined I could.

Now that he's...I hate to say it...FOUR, I love him exponentially more than I did then, but I've learned that he is RARELY still, HARDLY EVER quiet, NOT-QUITE perfect, and sometimes...he's just the OPPOSITE of good...you know, like a regular human being (but, shhhhhh, don't tell anyone) ;-) But I can't imagine him any other way.

So, this is what "four" looks like at our house:

Yep, those sweet blue eyes that have won me over since day one. We think they look like little teardrops when he smiles really big. And he's got the cutest little eye dimples on the outside corners of each eye that also make an appearance when he flashes a genuine grin. And that cute little nose! Oh, and check out those sweet rosy cheeks...if you can kiss the skin off someone's face, his are well on their way to being worn out. Man, I love that face!!!!

The kid is learning so much! I know some of it is from the TV shows that we probably let him watch too much of, but he is forever naming dinosaurs that I never knew existed, telling us what pulleys are and finding them all over the place, explaining the difference between a chrysalis and and a coccoon (making his mom--the teacher--feel like an idiot), and learning millions of other new things each day. Basically, he knows "a-wot" about stuff...

He loves his brother, Baba Jude. I love when I come into the room unnoticed and see my big boy helping his brother. Of course, he's not always helping him do something constructive (and I'm thinking of how he taught Jude to jump off the coffee table onto the couch). He prays every night for God to help him "be thoughtful to his wittaw brover. I don't always think he know what thoughtful means...like when he tries to coax Jude to sneak downstairs during naptime to see him get in trouble), but I know they are best friends...most of the time;-)

Oh man...he is such a GAMER! Obviously, a trait he got from his dad and not his "I'm good at trivia" mom. Penn could have named all the elements of the Periodic Table and his daddy would not have been prouder than the first time he typed in the web address for PBS Kids all by himself. And not only is he good at computer games, but he's also better than me at all the games on my phone (that don't require reading), he's taken over my pink Nintendo DS as his own, and has mastered all the games on his Mobigo. Just look at that face...he cheats, right?

He loves making friends, whether it's the 10 year-old kids in our neighborhood, the kids his age from church, or just the shoppers at at our garage sale. He never meets a stranger. And if someone refuses to wave back at him, he takes it as a personal insult.

Although he names his brother and cousins (ALL of them) as being his best friends, he also talks regularly about...GET THIS...his future WIFE (Sweet Samantha). Yep...apparently the two of them have this all planned out. They are going to get married, at which time, Penn says he will wear "a fancy shirt, a fancy jacket, and tap shoes (????)," and his betrothed will be clad in a beautiful princess dress. After that, they will both be firefighters. Sounds completely logical to me!

One of my favorite things about Penn is how much he loves his mommy and daddy. We often wonder at what point he'll figure out that we don't really know what we're doing...we're kind of playing it all by ear. Maybe he's humoring us, I don't know. On thing I do know is that I simply melt when I walk out the bathroom with a robe on and a towel on my head and immediately hear, "Mommy, you're beautiful AND pretty. And you smell good." And I'm sure it doesn't hurt Pack's ego a bit when Penn says, "Daddy, YOU'RE COOL!" It's so easy to love that boy (even though nothing else about parenting is easy). I can't imagine what the Love of God must feel like!

So, whether I'm ready or not...he's four. And although he barely fits in my lap anymore, he's my first baby and I'll always make room for him. I hope he'll always know that we couldn't give him everything he ever wanted (and we wouldn't if we could...a boy's gotta have dreams, right?), but that we have prayed our hearts out for him!!!

Happy Birthday to our (not-so) Little Penn!

Lipstick Kisses

2011-05-11T11:08:00.002-04:00

When I was young, my sister Karen and I used to wake up early in the morning before our mom went to work. She'd make us breakfast and we'd fall back asleep until it was time to get ready for school. While we were asleep, mom would sneak off to go to work, but not before planting a freshly lipsticked kiss on each of our faces. We were, of course, careful to remove the lip stains off our faces before going to school, but it always made me feel good to know my mom didn't want us to think she had forgotten to tell us goodbye.

Now that I'm a parent, I realize that I will never be able to kiss my babies enough. I think, on the conservative side, I probably give them around 1000 kisses a day, each. They never seem to mind, but they don't usually ask for it either (as if I'd give them a chance...). And I'm noticing that I'm starting to have to fight for some of those kisses as they get older.

Lately, Penn has not wanted to go to bed without "a snuggle." Our deal is that if he and Jude lay down quietly for a few minutes without playing, knocking on the door, or turning the lights on, I'll come back in for a kiss and a snuggle. Usually, they are both asleep by the time I get back in there. So, reminded of my sweet mom, I started going back in and planting a set of fresh, pink lips on their foreheads or cheeks so I have proof that I actually kept my word.

I promised them candy if they sat still for me to take this picture:) It almost worked.

I know that one day, lipstick kisses (from mom) won't seem so cool, but for now, I'll take 'em however I can get 'em!

A Gibson Girl!

2011-05-04T22:03:00.001-04:00

Well, really she's a "Coker" girl. Carmon Avery Coker. But she's the first girl born in the Gibson family in...UMMMM...a long time. And she's my niece:)

If you're a friend of ours on FB, you've probably seen this pic a ton already, but it's all I've got!

There is so much I love about living here in Virginia. Our life here is generally slow-paced and quiet. We never thought we would ever be living out of South Carolina, but we are, and we love it. But today, I was reminded why our goal is to someday make it back to our family. My twin sister Karen, gave birth to sweet Carmon (I haven't met her...I'm just ASSUMING she's sweet...She has good genes) at around 2:30 pm. She was 8 lbs, 1 oz and 20 inches of pure girl with super cute arm rolls and a couple of sweet chins (sidenote: I wish someone would describe me like that). I wanted to be there so badly so I could do a great post of the labor lay by play just like Karen did for me when I had Jude. (Okay, so I know it wasn't ALL about me, but I hadn't started blogging at that point, so it was all I had) And she made me look like a pro.

Anyway, I can't change that I wasn't there for her and she's probably glad I wasn't so she didn't have to make it get "all awkward" by having the nurses remove me from the delivery room because I want to see a live birth SO BADLY! I'm pretty into pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding if you haven't noticed. Oh yeah, and babies. I'm perpetually baby crazy.

I digress.

So from what I hear, Karen had a smooth and thankfully uneventful labor and delivery. This was a sharp contrast to her labor and delivery with Jac, which had lots of crazy twists and turns and involved magnesium, an uncomfortable "balloon," and a vaccuum...

Carmon came into the world just as a lady should...peaceful and uncomplicated. And as my big sister Amy said, "We all needed some sugar and spice."

We really did.

Now Penn and Jude are baby crazy (yes, it was my two wild men who were fighting over who got to "feed" the baby dolls at the coffee shop today) and it's only a matter of time before it rubs off on me (HA!). I seriously can't wait to get home and hold, smell, and play dress-up with my new little niece. She's a keeper, I can tell;)

Things I Dig

2011-05-04T13:50:00.002-04:00

In response to my grump list...here are some "things I dig."

Lists (obviously...)
Babies (my twin sis is having one RIGHT NOW...there will be another post on this)
Camping
Window shopping
My boys
Having a husband who tours VA wineries when he travels on his off time.
White Merlot (see above)
Dessert
Bubbles
Reading
Trying new foods
Seeing moms breastfeed in public (go ahead and roll your eyes, I'm cool with that)
Ice (preferably from Jumpin' J's in Florence)
Making my husband a meal that he requests to eat again (chicken spaghetti, baked eggrolls, Ramen casserole???)
Making my kids a healthy meal that they will actually eat
Sappy, romantic, cheesy stuff
Perfume, blush, and lip gloss (on a deserted island, this is what I'd miss)
My parents, siblings, and in-laws
Having a friend nearby to do free date night exchanges with
The "rainbow" selection at the car wash
Coffee someone else makes
Having a husband who is "not a natural," but gives it all he's got ;)
Facebook
Learning to make my own "stuff"
Peace (the groovy, hippie kind)
Peace (that passes understanding)
Having a Savior. Enough said.

Overrated...

2011-04-28T15:57:00.000-04:00

A list of things I'm not into...right now.

Sorting laundry
Politics
Measuring before hanging pictures
Recipes without substitutions
Grass (as in "lawns")
Preschool
Disposable Products
"Me Time" (I kind of like my husband and kiddos)
Shopping for Clothes
War on Germs (aka "antibacterial" everything)
Washing clothes before wearing them
Stuff (aka "dust catchers" or "attic fillers")
Meat as the main dish (I'm sorry, Pack...it's not you, it's me.)
Phone calls
Eyebrow maintenance
Running
Having to CLEAN a washing machine (seriously, my oven can practically clean itself, but the washer???) Speaking of...
Front loading, HE washers
Itineraries on vacations
Coupons
Uninterrupted sleep (who needs it, anyway!?)

Actually, it sounds like I might need a few nights of uninterrupted sleep...I sound like a complete grump! Maybe I'll make a new list of things I actually like...some other time.

How far I've come...

2011-04-24T20:56:00.001-04:00

I once would have called my cooking style "semi-homemade," but this, folks...THIS is a slice of our homemade bread (Pack's first loaf) covered in homemade strawberry jelly that we made from the strawberries that we hand-picked at a local farm. Oh...and it's really good;) My, how Virginia has changed us.

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Pack, this one's just for you:)

2011-04-13T23:28:00.001-04:00

Eleven years ago (when I was a junior in high school), I had this crush on a guy who may or may not have known I existed (and who may or may not have known which "twin" I was). We "talked." We flirted. We went to a concert together. I told him I had a thing for big, strong, tall guys. He said he always like petite girls. He gave me a piggyback ride on the beach because I didn't have shoes with me on the shell-littered shore. We had our first kiss at his house and we became "boyfriend and girlfriend." After a sweet summer with lots more kisses, I was addicted.

Sometime that first year.

Then...he went away to college...FOR FOUR LONG YEARS (well, four-and-a-half, if I'm being honest). I tried going to college close to him (it didn't work). He thought about coming home to be close to me (he didn't). There were a couple of times that we both thought it just might not work (but, it did).

One month after he graduated (on my 21st birthday), he asked me to marry him at a picnic on the grounds of the university I was attending. I still can't believe I didn't cry.

Telling the Family!

Just a few short months later, in April of 2005, I married him...at last (and I still didn't cry)!

The kiss!

Now, six years after that most perfect wedding day, I'm living in someplace I never imagined I'd be with someone I never imagined I would be able to love more and more each day, and I have the job of my dreams...as the mother of his children.

Nowadays...

He makes me laugh all. the. time. He is such an awesome dad. He makes me feel beautiful (even though very little about me still resembles that "petite girl") and I have never doubted his faithfulness. He prays with me and for me. He always surprises me. He never stops trying to be better--at his job and at home. He makes me walk on the inside of the road with the children so he can protect us from traffic. He's an awesome guitarist. He is honest with me. He is such a professional and his work makes me so proud. He's a friend to everyone. He's mine and I know he loves me.

Me with my best friend!

Pack, thank you for kissing me, loving me, and asking me to marry you six years ago. You are very simply the best husband I could ever dream of and I'm so thankful that God saved you for me!

Happy (late) Anniversary!!!

Time to Breathe

2011-04-12T14:01:00.000-04:00

We have been so busy for the past few weeks (or just this past month) that I haven't even thought about blogging. I mean, I wanted to, but life comes first, right? Here's a ~~little~~ synopsis of what the Packards have been up to lately!

Visitors! It seems we've had a steady flow lately since we got the "office" switched to our bedroom and we actually have a "guest room" now. Starting with Karen, Cam, and Jac back in mid-March for a weekend-long play date, followed by my parents the next weekend for Jude's birthday (which was lots of fun and my parents helped a ton!), and most recently Pack's mom came for an overnight visit last week while traveling to Lynchburg (she took us out for dinner. and gifted me a nice solo grocery shopping trip!!!). It's been fun. I love having visitors although I'm still learning how to be a good hostess. Luckily, family is very forgiving so it's been stress free.

Traveling to SC. It's always fun going home, but that drive is surely dreaded. We've been to South Carolina a couple of times this past month. One time I just didn't want to stay by myself for that long while Pack had to be in Florence anyway, and then there was this past weekend that had been planned for a while. This past weekend was an adventure of its own...

Dirty children...the only time they stood still!

This past weekend. If you have ever wanted to pack your weekend with as much activity as possible, then you should let me plan your schedule. I can never decide if I'd rather have one thing to do every weekend for four weeks or four things to do in one weekend. Since we don't live in Florence, we just have to pack in as much as we can in a short time frame whenever we come home. This weekend was no exception. We started with a campout on Friday night with our church (after driving straight to SC). Then we got up early, had breakfast, and headed home to mom's to clean ourselves up. I was immediately off to do some shopping for some things I would need in the afternoon. After getting settled back at mom's, she and I were off to my aunt's house for a shower we were throwing for my sister, Karen who is having her first girl (pretty much our whole family's first baby girl...we're pretty excited). We had approximately 30 minutes to set up before the shower started and it was a hit. She got some way cute things!!! We cleaned up by 5'o clock and I headed back to my mom's to pack my bag for an overnight hotel stay uptown with my sweet husband on our anniversary (most of the day I was so busy, I forgot it was even our day, but I'll devote another post exclusively to my sweet hubby later this week!!!). We ate dinner at a great new restaurant called Southern Hops and had a great night's rest in a spacious hotel room without being disturbed....ahhhhhh. Then--back to breakfast at mom's, followed by church, lunch, and then target practice with Pack's dad...oh yeah, then church one more time (pant, pant, pant). We made it home yesterday (after a long and stressful drive to RVA) and went straight to our Small Group Bible Study. After putting the kids to bed , we both crashed by 9:30. I am SO. GLAD. TO. BE. HOME.


Carmon's Diaper cupcake ceterpiece!

A brand new day. Back to the grind, right? Started today off with a 2 year old check-up for Jude only to have it thrown in my face that he's growing faster than the speed of light (okay, not that fast, but three and a half inches in just a few months is pretty significant). He jumped from 75th percentile in height to 95th although he's still a scrawny little thing. I swear I'd kill for his BMI... Baby Jude is turning into a boy, I guess!

There are so many things going on in my family that I have to be thankful for right now. We are really blessed and so grateful!!!! Hopefully, this month will be a little slower paced so I don't forget to take some time to breathe (I doubt it though...).

Jude...you make it better!

2011-03-22T09:37:00.001-04:00

My sweet baby is turning TWO! I can't believe it. I'll probably say that every birthday that passes, but it seriously seems IMPOSSIBLE that he's that big. Big enough to say how old he is. Here are some things that make our Jude...OUR JUDE!

He has the sweetest hazel eyes that come directly from his Daddy. They melt me.

He is definitely a man of many moods. Which is why we often call him "Moody Judey." And I can take full credit for that ;-)

Jude LIVES BIG. I say this a lot. Meaning, he's fearless. Nothing scares my baby boy, which means that everything he does terrifies me. Seriously, I see medical bills in our future.

He has the cutest baby words. Penn didn't really have a whole lot of baby words, so I really love hearing Jude say things like, "Tank choo (thank you)," "Wootsh (oops), "Sowy (sorry)," and "Too (I love you, too)" among many others. He didn't talk for a long time, but now he's saying new words every day. He also loves sign language, so I try to learn new things to teach him as often as possible.

He's scared of noises like dogs barking at night, airplanes or jets, and motorcycles...even if they are far away and we can barely hear them. And he runs straight for moi when he hears them. I eat up every second! Yep, he's a mama's boy:)

Speaking of eating, he loves vegetables and grains and eats WAY more than Penn. Meat, not so much. He likes the idea of meat, but will chew it up for a while and then spit it out. It's pretty gross.

Baby Boy plays hard! He is constantly on the move, usually trying to do something dangerous or making the biggest mess possible in the shortest amount of time. No joke. I've never seen a kid that can make a mess this fast!

He's a flirt! This kids LOVES girls. It makes no matter whether she's 8 days or 80 years old. And they seem to love him (it's those eyes, for real!).

Mr. Independent. He has no idea that he's any younger than his big brother or the grade school daredevil boys that live in our neighborhood for that matter. And if you try to tell him that he's not big enough, he'll show you the biggest tantrum he can muster!

He sleeps! After he actually STARTED sleeping at 9 months, he has been the perfect little boy at night. If he and Penn didn't share a room, he would never wake up in the middle of the night.

He wants to be just like his big brother and he cries for Penn more often than anyone else in the family. If we want him to do something and he's reluctant, we tell him, "Do ____ just like Penn!" That usually does the trick ;-)

He is so unique. For so long, he seemed like Penn's twin (not that twins can't be different...). It was so hard NOT to compare the two look-alikes! Now, God's creativity is clear. Jude is a masterpiece and we are having so much fun getting to know this little boy.

Our sweet "Baby Jude" makes our family so much better. Simply put...HE'S AWESOME, and I'm so thankful to be his mommy! Happy birthday, sweet boy!

P is for Patience.

2011-03-12T21:03:00.000-05:00

Week one of "home-preschooling" is over! On Monday, we started this simple little curriculum I bought from Laura Coppinger at www.heavenlyhomemakers.com, called, "Learn Your Letters, Learn to Serve." It's as simple as it sounds and I loved it as soon as I saw it because it gave me an opportunity to try out homeschooling without dishing out tons of cash for a preschool curriculum that was totally unnecessary. I also loved that I could take this and run with it completely or just use bits and pieces of it that would fit into our days. I am all about using someone else's good ideas:) And who doesn't want to teach their children to have a servant's heart???

I was going to tell you all about it...how I bought it, what we did day by day, why I chose not go linearly through the alphabet...you know, stuff you're probably not that interested in. Instead, I'll tell you this story and you will hopefully see the heart behind the lessons.

Day One. We talked the Letter "P" to death. Penn really liked the idea of "school" so I thought things were going pretty well. Then, we tried to think of people that we could pray for that started with "P." Unfortunately, we could only think of four people (bet you can guess two of them...). It suddenly occurred to me that "penny" starts with "P" and when I worked in a public school, we took up a collection for "Pennies for Patients." That sounded perfect to me! I told Penn that we would be on the lookout for pennies for a while and that we would give them to sick people in the hospital. Shortly after, I found him in his room, dumping out all of his money from his banks. He was separating all the pennies so he could give them to the sick people. I think I might have cried.

I see a ton of lessons about serving in that face right there...and I'm the one who needs to learn them.

It started with an alarm at 6 am...

2011-02-18T15:30:00.001-05:00

Actually, it started with a shower before bed. There was no way I was going to get myself up at 6am for ~~nothing in particular~~ a day at home with the kids if I had to take a lukewarm shower first thing in the morning, then blowdry hair, then straighten...ugh....

Anyway, so I did that last night and set my alarm for probably the first time in months

Would it matter? Would I keep hitting the snooze until the kids woke up? Why was I doing this again?

I've had a revelation (yes, another one) as of late. I don't work outside the home anymore and I've found that I've been ~~totally~~ a bit lazy. I think I just finally realized that even though I might not leave my house, I still had a job to do (a much more important one). I couldn't shake the thought of how I wasn't giving this "job" the same amount of preparation that I gave myself when I worked outside my home. I would never have started my day in a robe, without a shower, that late in the day (and I use the word "late" very loosely...it's a relative term when you have young kids).

So I made a decision: I would start getting up at 6 am, BEFORE the kids woke up, so I would have some time to "group" before they began their job of ~~un-doing the entire house~~ acting like children, learning, and growing.

~~And after debating it for about two months....~~I DID IT!!!!!!!

You know what? It made my day start out so much easier than rolling out of bed onto the feet of a demanding toddler and preschooler. These are just a few of the things I did while the boys were still sleeping:

I took my time getting dressed (a pure luxury).
I put on make up and straightened my hair (without having to chase down and wrestle cosmetics and hair tools from the boys).
I made up the bed before I left the room.
I made a pot of coffee (that I started last night so all I had to to was mash the "on" button).
I took out the trash...including ALL the bathrooms.
I listened to "The Counter-Cultural Woman" in peace and quiet.
I made a breakfast that I've been wanting to try, but haven't because it takes 40 minutes.
I ironed Pack's work clothes.
I did the dishes (that I should have done last night.......).

And then my time was up. 7:30. My kids are like clockwork. And they almost passed out when they saw I was already dressed ;)

Being this productive so early in the day, left me some time to actually SIT with Penn and Jude for breakfast AND lunch, sweep and mop downstairs (I know...fun fun, right?), take the boys to the library, and read a book outside while the boys played in the "bounce house." Simple things, but nonetheless, things I never get to do without "multitasking" (aka, "something I'm not very good at"). And I might even get a chance to have some "couch time" with my MAIN MAN later without a pile of laundry that needs to be folded between us! (That sounds like a date night, don't you think? Why, yes...I think it does *wink, wink*)

I am so grateful for this day of productivity and I think it has helped me be more patient with the source of my work. My job is not to keep the house spotless...it's to raise up the two little boys that I've been entrusted with. And by giving myself that extra little bit of time to "breathe," I've actually had the heart to work harder and better than I've been able to in a long time.

Now the question remains...can I do it again tomorrow???

My Favorite Valentine Memory...

2011-02-14T07:58:00.001-05:00

Pack and I got engaged in August of 2004, so February of 2005 was our last Valentine's Day as a dating couple. We already had decided where we were going to live, come April, and Pack was getting ready to move in for a couple of months alone before the wedding.

To celebrate Valentine's Day, we had a picnic in our unfurnished (unheated) formal living room. We sat on the blanket that Pack bought me for our engagement picnic and drank from the mugs he bought as well. Luminaries lit the room (even though it was in the middle of the day) and we ate a an eclectic mix of food from our two favorite places (chicken from Chick-fil-a and a dessert from Applebees...what simple tastes we had then, lol). We ate and lay on the blanket, not really believing that after almost five years of dating, we would be married in just a couple of months. This Valentine's Day was a real celebration!

We, of course didn't take any pictures, but that is still a vivid memory, six years later (which doesn't seem like so long until I think of the two children, numerous jobs, and several houses we've had since then). This was my favorite Valentine memory, but the love I have for my Valentine is so much deeper than I ever though was possible back then (you know, when I thought he was perfect). I'm so thankful for my partner, my best friend, and for the way he loves me.

Proverbs 30:18-19
There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman.

Christian Jargon

2011-02-09T10:49:00.000-05:00

"Faith like a mustard seed."

What the heck does that even mean?! When I think of mustard seeds, I think of that spice on my spice rack that has been begging to be used for years and never has. So they make mustard from that or something? I dunno.

What I do know is that that jar of mustard seeds, doesn't do me a lot of good when I'm trying to figure out this whole faith thing. It's easy to throw out that phrase and expect that people "get it." "Oh, mustard seeds are small, yellow, and round, so that explains it!" Yeah right...

I've always felt that my faith was child-like and simple. Thankfully, it never really took a lot of convincing for me to believe in God and Jesus. I never needed a lot of proof. As a matter of fact, the older I've gotten, the more obvious the reality of God is to me. I don't feel that I need to take a step of faith to realize that He exists. Once I had the experience of going from a "regular person" to a person growing and pushing into the world another living, breathing, thinking, loving person...He was confirmed in my life.

Faith, I'm learning, comes back to one question for me: "Do you trust ME to take care of ALL of your needs.?"

The ABC's of Financial Freedom is a very misleading series. I thought it was going to teach me all about how to manage my (our) money so we could get out of debt. It's not. Financial freedom, just like any other type of freedom comes from being able to let go of our control because God has promised us that "for those who love God, all things work together for good." (Romans8:28)

All things? ALL things? That means everything, right?

He way is right AND best. I don't know jack. Guess who I'm putting my money on...LITERALLY?

The Dirty-Dirty On GDiapers

2011-02-06T22:21:00.000-05:00

Note: This is a long (I'm serious...I can't help it. It's just how I am.) story to go along with a basic review of Gdiapers. If you don't want all the "backstory," skip to the "REVIEW" at the bottom...which is also very long:)

I'm the type of person who, when I spend money on something, will use/wear/eat it no matter if I LOVE it or not. I'm pretty easy to please that way (you're welcome, Pack). So I had been making do with the diaper choice that I made back when Penn was a baby (disposables, mostly the cheapest I could get that did the job). I researched cloth diapers a little bit when I was pregnant with Penn, but honestly didn't even consider it fairly. After all, I knew NO ONE that cloth diapered and that's a pretty big jump to make without having some support or advice.

When I was pregnant with Jude, I had several friends who began cloth diapering and I was seriously considering doing it with him. I found out about Gdiapers, which are basically a hybrid form of cloth diaper with a thin cloth cover, a nylon snap-in liner (which is waterproof...that's important), an an insert (a flushable, biodegradable,disposable insert or a hemp/fleece liner--which I didn't know about then). I basically concluded that using Gdiapers was going to be a pretty steep investment since the flushable liners generally cost 14-15 dollars for a 30 pack...so we wouldn't be saving any money by using them. Not only that, but my dear husband was NOT. ON. BOARD. He basically said that as an active diaper changer, he felt he could throw in a veto card. I conceded without too much of a fight.

Months went by (a year and nine months to be exact) and I began thinking of ways that our family could make less waste as part of my New Year's Resolution. I also had a friend that started cloth diapering her toddler at about the same time. I asked her a lot of questions and then found out that she was going to a cloth diaper buy/sell/swap at a local cloth diaper store in Carytown, so I asked her if I could join her. A lady there sold me two Gdiapers for 10 bucks! That may seem like a lot for two diapers, but I figured that I would use them and get my money's worth out of them no matter what (see paragraph 1). I felt a little silly being a new cloth diaperer (possible made-up word alert) and buying them for my 20 month-old, but I figured this wasn't that much of a risk and (hopefully) no one judged me.

That night, I went to the store and bought the flushable liners. I wasn't totally impressed with the disposibles and chalked it up to "I'm glad I didn't get these brand new...lesson learned." But then I did some research and found out about the cloth inserts. Since I had an Amazon gift card, I ordered a pack to try.

LOVED THEM! It was way easier than I thought it would be! Jude loves them, he looks adorable in them, and I've collected a total of 23 diapers (size small--for the future--to large). I also bought another pack of cloth liners because what child only goes through six diapers a day??? Here's the review so you can see why I love them so much and why I regret not doing this two babies ago!

REVIEW

The Gpants (cover). Really. There is something just adorable about their simplicity. I love the bold simple colors, and I've been known to try to match the diaper to Jude's PJ's at night. They actually come in several patterns (even ruffles for a girl!!!), but the solids are still my favorite look. They are also very thin and not cumbersome at all. You can barely tell he's even wearing a diaper most of the time, so his 2T clothes fit him a little better. Also, unlike most diapers, these velcro around the back and decrease (although theY do not eliminate) the incidence of baby pulling on diaper tabs to remove it (UGGGGGHHHH!). They are also simple to clean. You can toss them in your regular laundry because they don't (shouldn't) come in contact with poo!
The Nylon Liner. This is where the magic happens. This thin little layer that snaps into the cover forms a seal that protects the cover from getting wet/poopy, although you must first learn "the tuck." If (when) the liner gets dirty, just snap it out, snap a new one in, and you're able to reuse your cover. If the diaper was just wet, no problem, wipe it out (if you want...I usually don't), put in a new insert, and you're ready to roll. All cloth diapers should be this easy. (Note, as if I know anything...gdiapers are the ONLY cloth diapers we've used and we're happy with them...I've found that people are VERY passionate about THEIR favorite brand of cloth diapers.)
The Inserts. Like I said earlier, I was a little disappointed with the flushable insert. It was very absorbent, which is the most important feature, I guess, but the disposal was the disappointing part. It was a little messy because in order to flush it, you have to rip it apart, swish it around, and (in my case) let it sit in the toilet for 15 minutes before flushing so it won't clog the toilet. Not only that, but these babies are expensive and that still bothered me a lot. The cloth inserts, on the other hand are the exact opposite. They fit so nicely in the liner and are a cinch to clean. I "dump" in the toilet and whatever doesn't come off, goes in a hot wash (prewash, hot wash, followed by extra rinse, to be exact), and come out looking BRAND NEW! And (in case you're wondering), I have had to deal with every...ummm....consistency of poop that my sweet Jude makes, and they passed the test:). Not to mention, right before I started using them, Jude (unusually) came down with a diaper rash, and once I started using the cloth inserts, it got better IN THE SAME DAY. I was sold. Oh yeah...and these babies will pay for themselves QUICKLY!
The Verdict. Gdiapers with cloth 4eva!!!!! Well, except at night when we use the disposable liners (because they really are absorbent!), and disposables when we are at church. It's what's working for us and even my "conscientious objector" is into them now! Who would have thought...

The bottom line is to "never say never." I am trying a lot of new things that I never thought I would be into before (including cloth baby wipes!), and I've found that convenience isn't everything. There's something rewarding about living a more self-sustainable lifestyle where I don't need to rush out and buy things new that I could be making/reusing myself. Not only that, but I honestly don't spend THAT much more time dealing with diapers now than before. Thank goodness I was offered a deal too good to refuse. I only wish I had done it earlier...

Rough night

2011-02-02T09:35:00.001-05:00

It sucks when your feverish three-year-old wakes up several times because he doesn't feel well.

It sucks when that same child wakes up at 2 a. m. screaming bloody murder and hitting you because he thinks you're a monster.

And you can't sleeep well because there is a child laying on each arm, cutting off the circulation, and begging you to "do my back" all the while you are freezing and can't get up to turn off the fan without disturbing them

And then when your one-year-old decides he wants to get up before 6 am.

And also when they are both so sleep deprived, they fight through breakfast and the only respite you can get is to plop them in front of the T.V. for 30 minutes (at least).

When will my husband be home???

I'm there.

2011-01-30T19:54:00.002-05:00

You know those seasons of life, where you're just happy where you are and not wishing you could be at a different place? You know, the ones you just want to pause and soak up for a while?

I'm there.

I love this life.

Those boys....sigh...

Calling my bluff

2011-01-24T22:25:00.001-05:00

I've been suggesting ~~nagging~~ Pack about lowering the thermostat in the house lately (mostly for my own hot-natured comfort, but also to save some money) but I didn't really think he'd do it.

He called my bluff.

I'm in a sweater and boots in my 63 degree house and I'm still freezing. Here's why:

Short of using our actual names, our pastor shared a message on Sunday that really identified us. I don't think that many people saw us elbowing each other during church (while whispering, "That is soooo us!"). We should have known it was a message meant for us when it started with a clip from The Office.

It was about money (specifically debt). We can relate to that.

Here's the deal. One year ago, we REALLY realized how much in debt we were. We knew we had some debt, but I guess we just hadn't sat down to add all of it up (because student/home/car loans seem like good debt, right?). We paid off several ~~puny~~ credit card balances and patted ourselves on the back for a job well done.

Or not.

Turns out, Pack wasn't the only one who called my bluff. I thought if we paid off a few things here and there that we would be doing all we should and God would be happy and would let us have more money. Turns out, our new church started the year out with a series on "The ABC's of Financial Freedom" that opened our eyes. Turns out, everything we thought we knew about money was WRONG!

Sounds like bad news, right? Well, here's the good news (and it's awesome).

We don't have to be slaves to our money (or society) anymore!

That's why I'm considering this post my Emancipation Proclamation from debt. I don't want it to own us anymore, so I'm putting the word out.

We're getting free.

We're starting now (and that's why I'm freezing).

And as if I wasn't cheap enough, I'm willing to cut every corner I can find. Pack and I even had a head-to-head Magna Doodle brainstorming session on ways we can cut back. We're excited.

To be honest, it's not all confetti and balloons though...we are experiencing some of the friction that occurs when two people come to terms with their bad habits and it's gotten ugly at times. Next we're going to need someone to teach us how to talk calmly about money and how to be accepting of each others' ideas (but no, Pack...we are NOT drinking powdered milk and I won't even bring up your other "money maker.").

Please pray for us as we learn to live without the false security of debt. Pray for our family and for all the other families at our church that are learning how to "break free from the bondage of debt."

I have already been so blessed and excited by this series. I'm so thankful God moved us here to VA when we did and helped us find this church that blesses us EVERY week in so many ways. I'm thankful God planned this for us and planned for us to be set free from this mountain of debt that looms over us.

I'm thankful, He called my bluff.

Preschool???

2011-01-19T20:56:00.001-05:00

Am I being unconventional when I say that I don't think it's necessary to go to preschool? I've been getting a lot of information lately that is supposed to make me decide I should send my 3.5 year old to preschool to "get him ready" for regular school.

I'm not buying it.

I understand that a lot of kids end up in preschool because both parents work or because maybe the child requires some special instruction (like language, for example) that the parents cannot provide, but besides that...I don't get it.

These are the two guilt trigger phrases that I feel are thrown at parents the most:

Your children need the socialization that they will get from other kids at a daycare/preschool. Uh....no they don't! If mom needs some socialization away from the kids, that's one thing, but my 3.5 year old doesn't need to socialize with anyone except me. No one will deny that kids model their behavior after the behavior of the parents more often than not. With good role models as parents, your children will be plenty fine learning from socializing with you! I'm not saying that you should keep your kids away from opportunities to play and engage with other children; I think that it's vitally important that kids know how to react with their peers. Instead, I'm suggesting that your kids will benefit from as much quality time with you as possible in the early years. Don't feel that you're depriving your kids of a necessary experience by choosing to forgo preschool.
Kids who go to preschool do better in school and are more ready for it. There are a couple of reasons that I take issue with this. First of all, I didn't go to preschool and I think I was plenty prepared for school when I started after adjusting for a couple of days. That makes this argument personal. Secondly, from an educational background, your kids aren't learning that much in preschool that you couldn't teach at home. Don't believe me? Read up on What Your Child Should Learn in Preschool and ask yourself if you have basic knowledge of those skills (That's a joke. You know how to do all of it...hopefully...if not, you might want to think about preschool).

I am not trying to make anyone feel guilty who is already sending their child or children to preschool. Moms already deal with enough guilt for every single other parenting decision out there from breastfeeding and diapers to co-sleeping and car seats. Not sending your kids to preschool is just something that we don't need to feel guilty about and it's frustrating that people wold assume we wouldn't do what we thought was best. If I'm happy being with my children and they are well-adjusted and healthy, then to me, that's the best-case scenario. After all, they are only little for so long and I want to soak up every little bit of their childhood as possible!

Resolution Review-January

2011-01-19T11:53:00.001-05:00

I was thinking that the best way to hold yourself accountable for a goal is to review it periodically. Since I have 11 goals for 2011, I figured it would be wise to review these monthly. I don't expect I'll blog about it every time I review it, but I will this time:)

1. Homemade Quilt. I cut out some squares. I really need a book. I seriously don't know what I'm doing and I have this thing about not wasting time for pesky things like measurements, which is causing me some problems.

2. Vegetable Garden. Not. Even. Close. I just don't know where to start.

3. A Proverb a Day. I've actually done this so far. I might skip a day, but I know I'll be reading it next month, so I try not to stress about it. I think I'm going to read a different translation (on my Droid) each month to keep it fresh.

4. Limiting Eating Out. We did really well with this for two weeks and then blew it out of the water on the weekend. You can't win them all, right?

5. Get rid of clothes. I started with the childrens' clothes and moved to my "unmentionables." I cut out at least half there. The other clothes just seem a little overwhelming right now.

6. Small Group. This weekend! I'm very excited to be joining a group. My only debate was whether to join a women only group or a married couple's group. I think we settled on the married with children group as a start.

7. Lose 10 pounds. SKIP!

8. Renovate our Kitchen. Not yet. I'm afraid this will the the first resolution to go...

9. Family Service Project. Pack gave me a great idea to make some bread for our neighbors and have the boys take it to them (with me, of course). I've noticed that I THINK we are the only people on our street who go to church on Sundays. Maybe we can invite them when we deliver the bread....

10. Loving Pack. I'm learning his love languages:)

11. Make less waste. I've gotten the ingredients to make some laundry and dishwasher detergent and I've also bought some hybrid diapers. Of course, after I bought them, Jude decided to start potty training, but I guess that will help with our efforts anyway:) I'm also doing MUCH better at remembering to bring in my reusable grocery bags at the store. I'm having a lot of fun with this resolution. I'll have to do a post on this alone one day. It's pretty addictive:)

So that's where I am. I'm on it (for the most part) so far! I'm excited to see how much I will have done by summer.

Oh, how I long for summer, but that's another post!

To-Do List

2011-01-05T19:59:00.000-05:00

I thought about making a to-do list today. Pack will be home tomorrow and there was a lot I wanted to get done while he was away. Then, yesterday came rushing back to my memory and I went with my better judgement by just going with the flow today.

This morning, my shower was still cold, drinks were spilled, messes were made, cleaned up, and made again, and yes...I fussed (hey...my kids are 1.5 and 3.5...it happens). The difference is that today I kept reminding myself of those words that He brought to my heart yesterday, "You're doing this because you love them--you don't have to be a natural!"

And do you know what? It made all the difference!

So instead of focusing on all the things I might not have checked off on my would-be to-do list, here are some things that I actually got done:

I made up my bed.
I swept and mopped the entire downstairs (a rare feat!)
I separated all the clothes that were too small for Jude.
I got the boys to take a nap from 2:00 to 4:30 (!!!!!!!)
I found a good recipe for whole wheat bread and made it.
I played with the boys outside (well, in the garage...it was COLD!)
I made three meals.
I kept the sink empty.

So, some of these things wouldn't have even been considered important enough to even make it to the to-do list (making up bed, cooking, dishes, naps), but today they were an accomplishment that I was proud of.

Tomorrow, I don't see any blogging on the horizon. I'll be busy doing most all of the above and getting ready for my sweet, sweet husband to get home and release me for a long overdue girls' night (yippeee!!!). I'm so thankful for today and this breath of fresh air!

Not a Natural

2011-01-04T20:45:00.000-05:00

For stay-at-home-moms, it gets easy to forget that your children are just that...children. After spending all day "working" (yes, it's work...a lot of it), sometimes I have the tendency to treat my sweet little babes like they're annoying co-workers that I'm glad to say goodbye to at the end of the day. I love my boys. I REALLY do. Being with them is my joy and it's 100 percent what I want to be doing right now, but it's still hard.

Can you tell I've had a rough day?

Here's a little Cliff's Notes version of my day.

Cold shower. Some things got broken. Food was wasted. Lots of crying could be heard ALL DAY. No naps. Late to the bank. Jude tried to eat my chap stick. Penn won't eat supper. Jude wants to eat supper while walking around the house. Bath time floods the bath room. No story time as punishment. Jude hops the baby gate three times (at least). I yell (A LOT). I end up feeling like the worst mommy in the world.

I think I'm a pretty good mom. I have a lot of fun with my boys and I like to post and get feedback on some of the activities we do together. I think some of the time, I try to make other people think that I'm a natural at being a mom.

The truth is, I'm not a natural mom and days like today remind me of that in a very obvious way. How I reacted today was pretty much what comes natural to me. Being a fun, loving, and patient mom is an effort and sometimes I'm a lot better at it than others. If it came natural to me, I would never have to make the decision to rise above my "nature" and do things for no other reason than because I love my kids. I could do it all without an ounce of affection because I was "a natural." I'm thankful to "work" at being a mom. These days (although I don't wish them to come any more often) remind me of the heart of my work and the importance of making the conscious decision to be the best mom I can be. Those two little boys don't deserve anything less.

Now excuse me while I go snuggle with my now-sleeping babies and try to earn their forgiveness. Something tells me I'll be instantly forgiven:)

11 Goals for '11

2010-12-30T15:02:00.001-05:00

Last year I made a New Years Resolution and I almost made it, so naturally, I decided that 11 goals would be reasonable for the next, consecutive year...haha. Some of these, I'm sure will get vetoed by the hubster, but hopefully, I'll actually end up trying them all and making several of them part of my life permanently! I figure blogging about them will keep me accountable. So...in completely random order, here they are:

Start quilting and make at least one quilt. I think this might be in my blood (thanks to Grandma). I started out sewing with the intention of moving in this direction. Very few things that I own are as treasured as some of my homemade quilts and blankets and it would awesome to have this little trick up my sleeve.
This is the quilt I'd like to try!
Start a vegetable garden (or just grow a vegetable). I'd love to have a full-grown garden to delve into next year, but lets be real...maybe I should just start with some tomatoes first.
Read a Proverbs a day.
Eat out no more than once a week. We've actually been doing really well with this, unless we're home in Florence. It's not as hard as I thought it would be, but I want to be more purposeful about it this year.
Get rid of most of my clothes. I realized this year that I only wear a fraction of the clothes I own and it's really overwhelming (I don't need 8 pairs of PJ pants when I only wear three). I'm getting rid of at least half my clothes and whenever I get something new, I am going to TRY to get rid of a similar item (jeans for jeans, you know). I figure, I pretty much rotate around 14 outfits that I really like anyway.
Join and become active in a small group at our new church.
Lose 10 pounds (I know, I know...)
Renovate our kitchen by the end of the year.
Teach the boys how to serve others. I would really like to set aside at least one day each month for specifically this, but it's really hard for me to come up with projects that a three and one year old can both participate in.
When I think something nice (specifially about my husband), I want to make it a habit to say it, share it, or write it down for him to see.
Make less waste. We've already taken steps in this department by eliminating paper towels, antibacterial wipes, and buying milk in glass jugs that can be returned, so this year, we'd really like to take this up a notch. This might include making my own lotion and other bath/beauty products, as well as anything else that strikes me to try. I'm up for (almost) anything!

So, I'm pretty excited about this year coming up. 2010 was good to us and we're going to make 2011 even better!

Ten Words for OH-Ten

2010-12-29T09:31:00.000-05:00

Virginia.
Five Hour Drives.
Family time.
Learning simple living.
Gratitude.

Resolution 2010: How that worked out for me...

2010-11-23T22:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I think it kind of did...KIND OF.

Let me explain.

My new year's resolution last year was to go the entire year without buying any new clothes. It started out as a purely money-saving goal, but I also figured it would earn me a nice shopping spree in early 2011:) I figured I'd probably cheat (even from the beginning) so I gave myself an out by saying that I couldn't buy any NEW clothes. Sneaky, huh?

Anyway, here's my confession of sorts:

I bought five pairs of new undies in January or February. It was a necessity, really. I also bought a dress for a wedding in September. Honestly, I didn't have anything "nice, that fit" and what I did have I got the "Fine" or "Okay" response from my husband as to how they looked, so they were obviously no-go's. I found a dress that made me feel a little sassy at Ross and I paid 25 bucks for it. It was a small price for the huge burden of guilt I experienced for buying it, but I wore it and was happy in it, so there!

Not sure if this is cheating or not, but I also got several (maybe five or six) new articles of clothing for my birthday in August from Pack and other family members. I felt like I had won the lottery! Not to mention, I also made a skirt for myself in my "learn to sew" class. You can decide if those count against me or not.

Enough confessions, here's what I learned:

1. I still have WAY too many clothes. I literally only wore maybe a fifth of my wardrobe. Come January, I'll be doing some SERIOUS downsizing!

2. I wear built-in-bra camisoles all the time. I probably need two or three more (preferably long ones) that I can wear all throughout the week. I even sleep in them!

3. I want a pair of rain boots (for practical purposes).

4. I want another pair of skinny jeans since I lost the pair I bought last year:( Perfect time to lost an article of clothing, right?

5. I don't wear these things: t-shirts, khaki pants, collared "golf" shirts, any sweater that isn't the one I've had since high school, or half the dresses in my closet.

6. I am not stylish or trendy and I will pick out clothes that look "hippie" above almost anything else.

7. Most of my jeans are "mom jeans." Yeah, I know. I should probably invest in a pair of dark jeans that I can wear with heels.

8. I should never wait almost a year before replacing my undies supply. Seriously, my "unmentionables" are in a sad state of affairs right now (but they ARE CLEAN!!!). TMI? hahaha

9. I'm probably only going to buy clothes for myself second-hand from now on (mostly). I want to build a more quality wardrobe without spending the quality price. I think it will be worth it in the long run to have clothes that last for a while longer than some that I've got.

10. I'm not as noble as I thought I was when I started this "mission." More than once I have found myself thinking that depriving myself of new clothes made me a better person somehow. I'm ashamed that I actually felt at times that I was suffering. Now I realize that I know nothing of what it means to suffer. I have way more than I need and instead of feeling deprived, this taste of humility makes me thankful!

In hindsight, I probably saved my family some money and learned what things I really need in a wardrobe (and 100 things that I don't). Most importantly, I almost ALMOST met a goal and that meant a lot more.

Of course, the year's not over yet ;)

A moment that might have been forgotten.

2010-11-22T23:35:00.000-05:00

A cloudless, fall, Friday afternoon. I rake instead of mulching/bagging our leaves.

Best decision ever.

My boys, Pack, and I spend about 30 minutes playing in a pile of "almost trash." Nothing special. No planned activity. Just a spur-of-the-moment "this might be fun" type of thing. Turns out, we made a memory.

I'll always think of that as my first favorite Virginia memory. I've had a lot of good family times already, but this one is captured in my heart forever.

And on my Flip video camera. Unfortunately, the video wouldn't load to the blog, so here's a link to our moment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC4CoEahwUo

Change.

2010-11-15T09:26:00.000-05:00

Have you ever noticed that the minute you feel led to change something in your life, you are immediately fighting it? For example, for years I have struggled to have a consistent quiet time of Bible reading every day, but I always get too lazy. I want to experience the soul-soothing effect of living my life surrounded by the promises of God, but the minute I decide to change my behavior, I enter into mental warfare

I'll lay in bed and think, "I'll wake up early and read my Bible before anyone's up. That will get me completely ready for my day." But I'm a mom of two young boys and sometimes, mornings can hit me like a truck! Then I find myself trying to milk the night's sleep for whatever it's worth. Nap time? Nah...there's lots of cleaning and picking up I should be doing then. Before bed? Yeah right, I hardly even stay awake long enough to feel my head hit the pillow! Laziness.

Last night, I kind of had a realization. If you want to read the Bible, just do it. Don't wait for morning or lie there and debate when the best time would be to spend some time with God. DO IT NOW (or whenever now is)!

So I did.

Could that be the pattern-breaking solution? Apparently, I just can't give myself enough time to talk myself out of whatever it is that needs to be done. I decided to keep Bibles all over my house. In the nightstand, the living room, near the stove, in the van...in my purse! Wherever I am, He will be with me.

Along those lines...

Ever since I was a teenager, I've never been able to listen to the James Taylor song without thinking of my Abba. I think this song describes the way God feels about it. I don't feel or think even for a minute that he gets mad at me for not trusting Him to help me through my day. He doesn't hold grudges. I do think that it thrills Him for me to seek Him out. And He comes RUNNING to me (the Maker of the Universe...the Alpha and Omega)! He wants to be my friend!

You've Got a Friend

by Carole King as performed by James Taylor Copyright © 1971 by Colgems EMI Music (ASCAP). All Rights Reserved.

When you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name,
and you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you have to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend.
If the sky above you
should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
and soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
all you got to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Oh babe, don't you know that,
Winter spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all you've got to do is call.
Lord, I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend.

Christmas Gift Ideas

2010-11-12T09:39:00.000-05:00

Okay, I will share my list of ideas for homemade Christmas gifts IF my family doesn't get insulted if one of these becomes your gift AND if maybe one of my nine followers offers up another suggestion. (Okay, I can't make you do that, but we'll go on the honor system).

Here there are with links to places where I found the ideas:

1. A game board bulletin board. I LOVE this idea and it looks super-easy. I'm going to Goodwill to see if I can find any used games that will work with this since it doesn't really matter if a few pieces are missing. http://www.cutoutandkeep.net/projects/scrabble_bulletin_board
2. Tree Slice Cake/Cupcake Stand. Very cute. This looks like such a cute idea to display lots of things and I've looked all over for affordable "tree slices" and I just can't find them, short of cutting down the trees in my backyard (not happening). I'm still on the lookout though. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=30886218&ref=fp_feat_7

3. Reusable Snack bags. Okay, so I was thinking that Santa might leave a few of these in my stocking, but I'm not sure most people would appreciate the novelty and "green-ness" of this idea. I still like it though and think it will make a good use of excess fabric I have. The ones I have in mind are super-simple, but how cute are these? http://noodleheads.blogspot.com/2010/03/tutorial-recycled-reusable-sandwich-bag.html

4. Tin Can SlipCover. This will most likely be filled with either kitchen utensils or pens/markers, but it would make a great teacher gift or even wedding gift if it doesn't work for any of your Christmas gifts. I'm keeping this one in the vault. http://www.elsiemarley.com/tin-can-cover.html

5. Dream Frame Bank. This is way easy, but you have to know a little something about the recipient (like say, where a fantasy vacation location would be or something they are saving up for), but that's the hard part. Finding a shadow box frame is easy (and cheap). Finally, find a picture that represents their "dream", drill a money-sized hole in the top and you're ready to go. For added effect, paint the frame in chalkboard paint and draw a progress meter. http://www.gifts.com/search/product/Money-Bank-Dream-Frame?prodID=340509

Tis the Season...Almost

2010-11-11T19:29:00.000-05:00

I'm really excited about Christmas this year. It's an entirely new experience for us being in another place and I hope that helps to make the season more relaxing. Every year, I vow to get all the shopping done early so we can just enjoy the atmosphere of Christmas, but every year, I end up shopping up until Christmas Eve...and spending way too much!

This Christmas, I'm trying something new. It's either going to make Christmas a lot more budget-friendly and relaxing, or it will be a disaster. I'm sure it will be somewhere in the middle.

The idea is: I'm going to MAKE as many presents as I possibly can! Thanks to my new sewing machine I got for my birthday, combined with a few basic sewing lessons, I think I may be able to tackle a few simple sewing projects. The children and women are easy. I've thought of several craft ideas (not just sewing either) and I've even made a few things already, but it's the men and boys I'm worried about. What in the heck can I make that would suit them? Got ideas? Shoot.

Another part of my 2010 Christmas resolution is something that I've been wanting to do for a while (for obvious reasons). Whatever I can't make, I'm going to try to buy used! I've actually done pretty good this year setting aside some money for Christmas and I can't bear the thought of it not taking us as far as I thought it would (we have A LOT of people to buy for), so this might extend the budget some. Most of this will be felt in my immediate household. Mainly, Pack, Penn, Jude, and Me. I got the idea when I was thinking of how long it takes us to open all the toys on Christmas morning, only to find out that the boys just aren't that crazy about them as we thought they'd be. Hence, un-packaged, pre-assembled toys that are ready for playing and probably only cost a fraction of what a new one would!!! I shouldn't feel guilty for NOT buying my kids brand-spanking-new gifts. They could care less!

If you're in my extended family reading this, please feel free to join in and make us something homemade or buy something used for us or someone else on your Christmas list! I feel bad asking people to do this because I realize it takes a little more effort and time in most cases, but I feel that the holidays will be so much more focused on the true meaning and traditions of Christmas. Not electronic toys in perfect (or annoyingly imperfect) cardboard boxes, but gifts from the heart to represent the greatest gift of all...JESUS! The bottom line? I don't need anyTHING! It's all just stuff and I've gotten such an itch this year just to simplify my life.

I'll be the first to confess that not everything I gift this Christmas will be handmade or used, but I'm going to do my best and I would encourage you to give it a shot too. Maybe just hand make two or three gifts (I'm hoping I get some food, hint, hint). We don't need to kill ourselves. But who knows, you might end up developing a skill in something you never thought you'd be able to do!

And don't forget, if you've got any good ideas, PLEASE let me know...seriously:)

A little "sumthin" to think about.

2010-10-31T21:57:00.001-04:00

I heard on the radio today that in 2003 there was a discovery in astronomy of a point of light that represented a whole ton (okay...I don't remember the number) of galaxies in space that we don't even know about.

One point of light.

One AMAZING Creator. (Because at some point, there HAS to be a Creator)

And he chose OUR little planet to send his Son because his most precious creation lives here.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16.

He would have done it just for me (or you). Chills.

A year and a half later...Jude's birth story.

2010-10-01T09:44:00.000-04:00

We got pregnant with this sweet baby boy 13 months after Penn was born. We were thrilled...thrilled because Penn was such an easy baby (although that changed during toddlerhood), thrilled because we were having another boy (I would have been thrilled with a girl too), and thrilled that I was pregnant again (this would soon change).

I felt totally different this pregnancy. Every ache and pain was magnified because I was chasing a toddler. I didn't rest. I didn't eat enough (early on...later, I ate like a champ). My ribs hurt like mad. And I was too stubborn to ask for help when I needed it.

These complaints aside, I still loved being pregnant and did my best to make it look easy in front of people, although I realize now that I probably wasn't fooling anybody.

Toward the end of the pregnancy, the doctors became concerned that little ole me was going to give birth to a ten-pounder (like I said, I began to eat much better). We decided to schedule an induction for a week before my due date. This was a bittersweet decision. It was an easy choice in some ways because we could make arrangements for Penn more easily, and at that point, I was tired of being pregnant anyway...I was already dilated four centimeters and 75 % effaced (whatever that means...). On the other hand, I really, really wanted to experience the spontaneity of going into labor on my own and see when this baby would decide to come.

The pain won out and we showed up at the hospital early Friday, March 27, 2009, after dropping Penn off at "Mamaw's". I remember Pack and I argued on the way to the hospital, but I don't remember what about. We were both nervous as anything and a little heartbroken that Penn wouldn't be our baby anymore--and he didn't even have a clue. Mostly, we were anxious because we wanted to meet the newest little boy.

For the record, sitting on the hospital bed at 6 am, getting prepped for induction is surreal. It's crazy thinking, "In just a few hours, after a ton of pain, I won't be pregnant anymore." I'm willingly lying down and asking them to administer the pain for me. Weird.

Anyway...

Contractions started immediately, about 6:30. I liked the "pain" at first, probably because it wasn't really pain. It felt productive. I knew I was already a four, so it wouldn't be too long before it got worse.

During the labor, I got bored, so I did what any bored person would do in 2009, I facebook. What else could I do, right? Here's the play by play:
7:38 Getting restless sitting in the hospital bed and I've only been here an hour and a half!!!
8:46 Trying to resist the epidural, but Pack is freaking and wants me to get it asap.
*I finally got it about 9:30 after Pack begged and pleaded.

10:52 About to start pushing!!!
*I was instructed to "labor down" at about 11:00, which basically meant they wanted me to sit straight up in the bed to allow the baby to get way down in position. This was supposed to make everything move a lot more quickly without as much pushing...it worked
12:49 Has a new little boy...born at 12:01...he's perfect. I'll post with measurements later. *I promise I was not neglecting to spend time with my perfect boy so I could facebook. I had already gotten my first snuggles and nursing session and was getting ready to switch rooms while Baby Jude got checked out in the newborn nursery.
Jude really was perfect (APGAR score and everything). We noticed his super-long toes and the fact that at 9lbs, 1 oz and 22 inches, he was almost the EXACT same size Penn was at birth. He nursed like a champ from the get-go (and did so until he was 18 months old!!!!).

This labor was fast. Pushing took 15 minutes. We were in the hospital 36 hours before we went home (not staying longer was a mistake...read me MISTAKE). We spent the next few weeks forbidding Jude to grow up...he was going to be our baby forever.

It didn't work.

You can't convince the boy now that he's any younger than his brother. At 1 1/2, he's gotten more injuries than his brother has had in his whole life. We realize now he's not perfect...sometimes, he's bad. We are crazy in love with him still and he's growing at lightening speed!

Baby Jude, you came into the world quickly and pretty easily! We adored your babyhood and were so sad to see it go, bit by bit! As you grow (quicker than we'd like), our mission is that you will never be able to say that your mommy and daddy never kissed you enough, said, "I love you" enough, or neglected to tell you about God. You will always be our sweet boy and we are so thankful that God trusted us with your care. You make our life so sweet and we love you tons and tons!

Woe is me...

2010-09-14T13:55:00.000-04:00

I can't think of much right now that is more stressful than meal time. I realize that I'm not the first person to have to cross this bridge and I'll probably think fondly upon these days when I'm having to deal with more "big boy issues," but I am at my wit's end! Between Jude's utter destruction of any element of neatness in my kitchen and Penn's finickiness (that's putting it lightly...), I wonder if we will ever emerge to a season of life that doesn't require begging, threatening, and baths during and immediately following meals.

Here's the scoop. Penn eats nothing (okay, very little). I've seen birds that have bigger appetites than this kid! The only time we don't have to argue with him about eating is when we're having breakfast foods, some form of chicken (plain), bologna, hot dogs, fruit, or sweets. Oh yeah...celery. This boy eats celery. You know all the foods that they say all kids eat--like mac and cheese, spaghetti, french fries, peas and beans??? Mr. Firstborn won't touch any of these unless you force them into his mouth and then be prepared for it to come back up. I was trying to lose weight so I decided to eat portions of food that I would give to the children. Unfortunately, I have discovered that I would not survive on what Penn eats. Seriously. And don't even think about taking this boy to a restaurant to "try something new." He's as stubborn as his momma and it isn't going to happen.

Jude, on the other hand, is my "good eater." He'll literally eat almost anything I put in front of him. Well, I take that back. He'll try to eat anything I put in front of him, but at least half of it will end up on the floor, on his head, the walls, in his diaper...you get it. Then when he's starving all the time and we're wondering how he could possibly be hungry again, you remember that he only was able to get half the meal you offered him into his mouth. Poor guy. I know you're thinking, "Can't you just help him out and spoon-feed him a little?" Nope. Not only is Jude my "good eater," he's also "Mr. Independent." He'd sooner starve than let you help him--with anything. Give him a spoon and it may as well be a piece of jewelry, nice, but not necessary. Fisting food is much more efficient to him.

Therefore, after meals, you will usually find me near my breaking point. Wanna help? Got advice for either of these scenarios? Let me know. I'll be the one under the table threatening Penn if he doesn't eat something, while vacuuming cous-cous with ketchup up my arm.

Is 27 still considered "mid-twenties?"

2010-08-25T21:08:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is my birthday and I thought I'd commemorate that event with a post, since I haven't done that too often lately.

When I take a look back at "my" last year, I'm amazed at all the changes. This time, last year, we had just found out that Pack got THE JOB. The one we had been waiting for to come around for over a year. The ball was finally rolling...we thought. Within a week: loan pre-approvals, meetings with realtors, sign in the front yard, chaos in the house. I was terrified of what was to come. Everything seemed to be moving so quickly during those first few weeks.

Then everything slowed to a snail's pace. Our house didn't sell. Pack was gone Mondays through Fridays most weeks. I felt like a single mom. Our house HAD to stay clean for any last minute showings and I had to be ready to go out the door with just a few minutes' notice. I couldn't and still can't do anything on a few minutes' notice with two babies...

Christmas came. I was thankful that we got to spend one last holiday in this little house that we loved. I missed my husband like crazy during the days he wasn't home. It felt like college all over again, but this time I was doing it as a single mom of two.

After the New Year's Holiday, my mom got sick. Real sick. We were afraid she'd die before going to a doctor. We made her go. A couple of week long hospital stays. A surgery. Months out of work. I was thankful, once again to still be in Florence to help take care of my mom (but if this ever gets back around to her, she should only think I was basically her chauffeur and lunch picker-upper). I still missed my husband.

In March, Jude turned one. Our baby...ONE! We celebrated his first year on Earth with an alien party and had a blast. I decide our house will probably never sell. It was okay...we liked it there.

May came and so did a surge of showings. By the end of the month, there was a contract on our house and I was having to plan a birthday party for my sweet firstborn while getting ready to move out. Penn celebrated his third birthday with a small dragon party at the park (which he requested), but none of us anticipated that he would end up with two swollen feet from ant bites, fever, and soaking wet from getting rained out of his party. May was a doozy!

In June, we became homeless. We lived with my parents for a little bit and in a hotel for a little bit longer (I still kind of hate hotels). I very nearly lost my mind. By the end of the month, we had two significant dates: the day we were SUPPOSED to close on our new house (which ended up as "the day I parked in front a Wachovia and cried because BOA is disorganized"), followed immediately by the day we actually closed on our new house and moved in! If May was a doozy, June was a whirlwind!

July was wonderful, but busy. We made several trips to SC for some commitments we made before we had a clue where we'd be. We went on our first mission trip as a married couple. July was still "limbo" for us. I felt like we were vacationing in Virginia, except I had to make up the beds, cook, and do all the dishes...sheesh!

August has felt right. I feel like I'm home. I miss my family in SC, but I know that by being here, I'm able to give myself up completely for this house full of boys.

This year has been a JOURNEY! I can look back and see God's perfect timing in every circumstance. I might not have been too thrilled with "HIS timing" during this process, but I'm ever-so-thankful for it now. Where would I be without you, God?
I can't imagine how my 27th year will end, but I hope it will be as exciting as 26!

Waiting for the box fairy to come...

2010-06-24T21:52:00.000-04:00

We have been in our house almost a week now. First to get settled was Penn and Jude's bedroom. Next was ours. Then...everything else. We're in phase three right now and I'm pretty sure we're never going to be able to park a car in our garage. How come we have no space for this stuff and it's a bigger house?

I did manage to clear the million-and-one boxes off our front porch today so it didn't look like the Sanfords lived here. I think it made a huge difference. Now, all I need are a few green plants to put here or there and the outside of our house will be done for now (the backyard will have to wait...don't get me started).

I think I've unpacked all the boxes in the house with the exception of the garage, the computer room (Mr. Packard will handle that beauty), and the dining room. I really, REALLY want to get my dining room in "dining" condition, but we're going to be painting at some point and I hate to put my china in the cabinet and then have to move it around to paint.

I hate boxes. I hate packing paper. I hate that brown tape that I've been finding all over the house. But I LOVE this new house and can't wait to put pictures up of the rooms once we get everything "straightened." Oh well, enough for now. Bedtime!

Never thought we'd get "here"

2010-06-03T09:52:00.000-04:00

We're here. I can't believe that we are actually co-habitating again in Richmond. It only took eight months, but we made it through. In a few more weeks, we'll be in our new home. I can't believe it. I can't believe it!

The move itself has been a little more rough on me than I anticipated. Watching the movers pack up the children's rooms in just a couple of hours was hard. I cried every time I looked in the back of my house...their house. I kept thinking that we picked that house out especially for our babies.

We were pregnant with Penn at the time and we looked at a ton of houses around Florence. Congaree was one of the smaller houses we looked at, but we fell in love with the neighborhood and the hardwood floors. Our first week, two of the neighbors brought us over a meal (one of those ladies passed away last year...a sad day for her neighbors). We knew we made the right choice for a place to bring our new son home.

I think if we ever move back to Florence, I wouldn't want to live in any other neighborhood. You can't find that kind of real estate diversity, convenience, and beautiful scenery in any other place. We loved it!

Now, we're in our first home in VA...a hotel. It's a nice one, but I'm sure four people living in two rooms for two weeks will make anyone crazy. It's okay though...we're together and that's what we've been waiting on (and it's a definite plus that I don't have to make breakfast or supper on most nights).

I can't wait to move in and get to know my new state, new neighborhood, and new neighbors. I simply excited. I think the emotionally hard part (the waiting and leaving) is over and now we can just look ahead to the exciting times we'll have here. This is the place where my babies will become little boys and that's a lot to look forward to!!!

An Excerpt from "Mayo Clinic Book of Pregnancy and Baby's First Year"

2010-05-19T14:33:00.000-04:00

Weaning from the breast. At this age, breastfeeding babies are usually very efficient. Because of their effective sucking and their mothers' easy let-down, these babies often don't take the time to snuggle and nurse. They are easily distracted during feeding times. Some mothers interpret these shorter, easily interrupted feeding times to mean that their babies are giving up nursing. However, these types of feedings are most likely just a part of a developmental stage. Most bbies at this age are so intent on practicing moving around the room that they aren't willing to settle down for anything else.

This SO explains what stage I am in right now with Jude (14 months)! I also weaned Penn at this age because it seemed to me that he would rather have been eating "on the run." Had I read this when Penn was still nursing, I probably would have continued nursing him through that stage. Don't get me wrong--I think I did well to nurse him for a year (13 months to be exact), but I know how beneficial it is to continue the nursing relationship for as long as possible.

I'm so thankful to have run across this book during our packing and moving. What seemed to me like clear signals that Jude was tiring of nursing, is most likely just a stage! I'm so glad because I don't think I was ready to stop nursing just yet.

I think Jude and I might not be the only beneficiaries of this little gem. Breastfeeding is something that isn't always the most "convenient" option, but you will never regret doing it as long as possible!

Mixed emotions

2010-05-11T22:36:00.000-04:00

I'm fine today, but two days ago at this time I was literally in tears. Tomorrow I might be blissfully happy. Who knows these days??? This house selling/house buying process all at the same time is turning me into an emotional wreck. I'm nervous, anxious, excited, and everything in between.

I cannot bear the thought of leaving the house I brought my children home to. I mean, when I think of the sweet life we had here at this house, I will always remember that this is the place where Penn and Jude spent their baby days. Leaving our home is kind of like having to accept some strange rite of passage into another chapter of the book of our lives where are children actually grow up. So sad.

I'll always remember how I swept the kitchen floor in the hours before we went to the hospital to be induced with Penn. We celebrated the first year of his life in our backyard. How we sat in our bedroom the day I found out Penn was going to be a brother. I'll never forget the sound of Penn's feet running down the wood floors in the hallway in the middle of the night, trying to get oriented enough to find our room. Or how both boys would stand at the front door and watch their daddy get home from being gone a week.

That last thought makes me so glad. I am so grateful to be able to be with my husband again and not have to plan our lives around when he will be "in town." I want him to help me put them to bed at night, turn out the lights, and make sure the house is safe and secure. I want to grow into this new house, which we love. I want to live like a family again.

So, I realize that I'm sounding a little over-dramatic...whatever. I know people move every day, but that doesn't make it any easier for me. My hope is that when we actually get into the process of moving, I'll forget about all the sentiments and just be distracted by the task at hand, For now, I am left alone with my thoughts, which are bouncing around like a ping-pong game in my brain.

Any thoughts to help me cope?

Stressed to the MAX!

2010-05-05T11:27:00.000-04:00

It doesn't feel like this roller coaster will ever end! Our house is sold, pending the inspection. We bought another house, pending Florence inspection and Richmond inspection...it's a double whammy! I am SO nervous that the buyers of our house are going to want us to do repairs that we can't pay for. I don't think anything's wrong, but you never know. Hopefully, they'll go through with it and we won't have to fix much.

On the other hand, I am so excited about our new house. Unfortunately, it's going to be about a month and a half until we close on it, so we have quite a long wait. We won't be in it until summer time so that means we will have to find a place to stay for that length of time. Will it be our parents' houses or a hotel suite for three or more weeks? Tough call--for real!

We'll I'll keep this short and sweet. Hopefully we'll know something about the inspection before the weekend so I can get some sleep again. Let's get this ball rolling!

House-hunting is...

2010-04-28T21:30:00.001-04:00

...fun (not always), exciting (can be), frustrating (yep), headache inducing (uh-huh). I've spent the last two days looking at three-inch pictures of our possible future home and I've already had enough. Online house-hunting is for the birds...I'm done. We have emailed the realtor (about 15 times a day) and we've given her a list of some houses we are interested in. I assume that she'll have some houses up her sleeve as well and we've scheduled a trip to Richmond for this weekend so we can see some of these babies up close. I'm exhausted. I'm hoping she's got some good ones (in our price range) scheduled first thing in the morning so we can check em out, make an offer, and head home. Unfortunately, that may not be the case and we might be doing this again for another few weeks. We are so ready to be there. Together.

On the other hand...we are petrified!!! I lived away from home my first year in college and I did okay, but now that I have children, it's a whole different ball game. Pack and I are both scared that we'll get all moved in and Penn's gonna start crying for one of his grandmas. I keep telling myself (and Pack) that he's only two (almost three) and he'll adjust just like kids do all over the place. Families move. Kids survive. We'll only be a few hours away and we've already decided we'll be coming home to SC at least once a month for a while until we feel more at home.

Kids aside, I can't begin to explain how much I will miss my parents, my siblings, my entire extended family. I may not get to see them all very often, but it's somehow reassuring to know that they're close if I need them. We want to buy as huge a house as our budget will allow so we can just have everyone come up and stay with us whenever they want...or we want. I hope they will. Richmond is a great place to vacation guys, I promise!

Prayers, please...this is getting real.

Just a fraction of my heart I'll be leaving...

OFFER...YES!!!

2010-04-26T21:28:00.001-04:00

So today we got our first offer on the house...and it was more than we were hoping to get, so THANK YOU, LORD!!! I have been avoiding this blog for a while now because I dreaded spreading that there was no news on our house. Well, this is definitely news and we are thrilled!

So, all day I've been thinking about God's perfect timing and I keep referring back to these same points that keep reminding me that we really are doing the right thing:

*Pack got this job about a month before we would have been TOTALLY broke from me not working. His new income pretty much makes up for my lost one.

*We are moving to Richmond, VA where we will be only a few hours away from home and Pack will still be based back in Florence making family more accessible.

*While waiting 7 months on our house to sell, we have been able to pay down some debt and get our finances under control so we're prepared for the higher cost of living while in VA.

*Our house gets a contract on it just two days after I take a walk alone around our beautiful neighborhood and tell God, "I'm okay just where I am." That's the first time I ever consciously told myself to STOP GRIPING about not being where I want to be and to be happy being where I am! I put on a good show for others, you know..."All in good time," but I didn't really mean it until this weekend.

*Pack gets a larger than normal bonus (thanks to his hard work), which we can use to help us with a down payment on our house.

God really has known what is best for us all along! And he keeps giving us the reassurances that we are doing the right thing. All day I keep saying, "This is not a coincidence!" When my faith is stretched and I have to step out and just trust that God will take care of us--he always does.

ps...Hopefully, my next post will be titled, "SOLD!" *prayers, please*

My first baby

2010-01-20T21:34:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I know this is a long time coming, but I've been dreading sitting down to write this because I know that I've forgotten so much already! I'm going to do my best trying to remember how things went down and I'm going to vow that with my NEXT baby (in a few years), the first thing I will do when I get home from the hospital will be to document the birth.

Anyway....May 21, 2007

I had had a pretty non-eventful, textbook pregnancy with Penn. Things were actually going really well for me. Morning sickness was minimal and aside from the 50 pounds I gained and my hugely swollen legs and feet, I really felt great throughout my entire pregnancy. As I made it to the final weeks, I was progressing. I'm not sure how much and when but I was dilating about a centimeter a week from 37 weeks on.

On this particular check-up about three days from my due date, the doctor took one quick look (or grimace) at my "telephone poles (aka legs)" and swollen hands, and we were given the option head to the hospital to be induced as soon as a bed was available. At that point, I was three centimeters dilated and completely effaced, but I hadn't noticed any contractions. Pack and I both agreed to that (it was hard not to at that point), and immediately looked at each other thinking, "What the heck are we doing...we don't have a clue!"

There were no beds available at the hospital right then so we went home and waited on them to call us. I swept and nested like a mad woman! Finally, we got the call to be at the hospital at 7 to spend the night and try to "soften the cervix" before induction began at 6 the next morning. Holy cow! This is it!

I was so excited to get to the hospital! After getting our room, changing into a gown, answering dozens of questions, and getting the IV site ready (by far the worst part), I was ready to get some sleep. The doctor came in and inserted Cervidil to ripen my cervix. This part sucked. I was up all night feeling very uncomfortable and needing to constantly go to the bathroom. I was so happy to see five o'clock in the morning come!

May 22, 2007

I got up and put some make-up on and brushed my teeth and tried to look as good as I could for someone almost 10 months pregnant and in a hospital gown. The nurses came in right on time at 6 to begin the Pitocin drip. They also asked me if I was interested in having a doula present. Since I wanted to have a natural labor (as natural as induction gets), I said, "Yes!"

Roy (a female), the doula, came almost immediately/ She was a voice of reason and confidence when I needed it and I am so thankful that I was able to have her with me during my labor. As contractions got more and more intense after they broke my water at about 9 am, Roy constantly praised me and made me feel like I was handling labor like a champ. I really was enjoying the experience this far.

Also, my wonderful husband/coach was amazing. He was right by my side, scared out of his wits, but supporting me anyway! He was letting everyone know the updates and taking lots of pictures because he knew how important that was to me. When I think back to that day though, I picture him standing right beside the bed, head to head with me, telling me what a good job I was doing and asking how I was feeling. What a wonderful man!

I think the 10 o'clock hour is when things started getting rough for me. I kept setting 20 minute goals. I'll ask for the epidural in 20 minutes. Finally, Roy told me that if I thought I might want an epidural, it was not in my best interest to keep waiting because I may get to the point where they would let me have it and then I would be out of luck. This convinced me to go ahead and have it. By the time the nurses and anesthesiologists arrived to administer the medication, I was 5 or 6 centimeters (I think). Although I was terrified of having an epidural, it was no big deal and I was able to catch up on some rest that I hadn't gotten the previous night.

Roy still stayed with me, talking with my mom while I rested and labored. She would leave to go check the nurses' station and then come back to our room. At one point she came back a little excited and said, "Have they checked you recently?" I told her that it had been a couple of hours and at that point she suggested that I have a nurse check me again because the monitors at the nurses' station showed me having some pretty intense contrations that were right on top of one another. I really didn't feel any different, but they checked me anyway and by 12:30, I was at 10 centimeters. I thought Pack would faint!

What I never imagined was how quickly after those words come out their mouths that the room is transformed! My bed was being separated, the lights in the "baby area" were coming on, mirrors and lights were coming out of the walls, and they were trying to finagle my limp, fluid-filled legs into the stirrups without dragging me off the bed! I pushed several times before they went to go get the doctor. Meanwhile, A Baby Story is on in the background and everyone keeps getting a little side-tracked with HER delivery in between my contractions. The doctor arrived all gowned-up and ready to deliver a baby.

It is now about 1 o'clock in the afternoon. I push for so, so long, not having a clue what I was doing thanks to the epidural (doing it's job, I guess). The doctor says, "If I would have known you were going to take this long to get him out, I would have waited to come in!" Thanks, lady! Anyway, turns out, Penn is stuck and veering off the "traditional course," making it harder for me to get him out. Finally, after another hour and fifteen minutes, Penn was born squalling like a pterodactyl! It was 2:16 exactly when he was born.

The first thing I want is to hold my baby, but the doctor hands him off to a nurse who starts cleaning him up. My face in the background of his first pictures show me longing to hold him. I couldn't believe that I had just delivered that baby! As soon as I get him, I am amazed...AMAZED! What perfect little red lips, and beautiful, slick brown hair. My baby was THE most beautiful thing I had ever seen! After the finished delivering and "repairing" me, I was able to nurse Penn for the first time. He didn't really get it and as a matter of fact, didn't really start eating well until we were home from the hospital.

My doula, Roy had remembered the fifty millions times I had mentioned how bad I wanted a cold Diet Pepsi during the pushing phase and went and got me one to throw back as soon as the doctors had finished with me. It was obviously a shock to my system though because I instantly threw it up and very nearly threw up on my sweet little newborn. YIKES!

After two more nights in the hospital, we took our little baby boy home and kept falling in love. That was it...that one little day...eight hours...made me a mom and I am so thankful for that whole experience. When I remember Penn's birth, I actually get excited about doing it again! In fact, I was so excited about doing it again that I did...almost two years later, when my sweet Baby Jude was born, but I'll get to that another day:)

PS...Here's Penn's birth video for the experience in a nutshell:)

The things I hope I never forget

2010-01-18T20:42:00.000-05:00

Penn:

I love how you made me a MOM on the day you were born.
I always wanted a snuggly baby...that's you!
I love your interest in and tenderness with babies.
It drives me crazy when you aren't happy to see me.
I'm in love with your colorful personality, which is obviously a perfect mix of your Daddy and me:)
I love reading to you and watching you look at the pictures, knowing that you know exactly what the story really means.
I love to hear you tell me your "favorite part of the day" every night.
I always feel horrible when I make you cry because you hardly ever REALLY cry and it truly breaks my heart!
I love to hear you ask, "Are you happy, sad, or mad," when you know I'm probably mad.
I hope I never forget your words for things: safe scissors, something special, peek-a-boo apples, juicy, hot-diggity-dogs, bock-bock, yippy-yay...
I love it when you run up and give me a hug for no reason.
I miss your curls and baby smell.
I love how you try to protect your little brother, like when I fussed at him for playing in the puppy water and you ran up to me and said, "Be nice to my brudder, Mommy!"
I love to watch you play pretend.
Lately, it makes me laugh to see you do your skunk impersonation.
I love how you can always make Jude laugh...I hate that you can also just as easily make him cry...
I think it's adorable that you love bouncy balls so much and you can ALWAYS keep up with them!
I am so frustrated that you are such a picky eater!
I love that you always want an extra piece of candy for your Daddy.
I wish I remembered the last time I nursed you and rocked you to sleep.

JUDE:

I love that I was the first person to hold you when you were born.
I love how your mommy is the only person in the world who can make you feel better sometimes.
I love that you have hazel eyes like your Daddy.
I love how you always wiggle your feet and rub them together.
I love that you have dimples.
It makes me sad that I know your baby days are coming to and end.
I love to watch you clap when we sing, "If You're Happy and You Know It."
I love that you are such an angel when I put you to bed every night!
It bugs me when you won't let go of my legs when I'm putting on my make-up or trying to dry my hair.
I love your toothy grin even though at one point during teething I was wishing you could be toothless forever--I take it back!
I love that you always say "Ma-Ma" and that you make the sound by pressing your top teeth to your bottom lip. It looks like it should sound like "Va-Va"
I love to see you smile when you hear your Daddy's voice on the phone.
I love your laugh and how you suck in air really loudly when you smile really big. You also do this like a language back and forth with your Daddy.
I can't wait to find out what your voice sounds like!
I hate it when you bite me. I have three bites as we speak!
Speaking of...it bugs me that you laugh when I try to fuss at you for biting!
For a long time, I was disappointed you wouldn't take a paci...now I'm thankful!
I'm amazed at the sheer volume of your voice when you want food or attention at a quicker pace that how you're getting it!
I love your name...Jude Tillman...and I love that I thought of it myself!
I wish I could keep you as a baby forever, but I'm thankful for the days to come...I'll only love you more!

By George...

2010-01-06T13:53:00.000-05:00

I think I've finally got this two-kid thing down! Life has eased up a bit on me lately and I'm soaking it up! Jude, my non-napper/sleeper, has finally conceded to taking two "scheduled" naps a day and Penn, as usual, is down for the count at almost exactly one-thirty every day. PRAISE THE LORD! That's the best thing that's happened in quite some time and I'm actually looking at getting some down-time every day again (aside from nighttime, where I will fall asleep as soon as I get in a semi-horizontal position).

So here's our recent family goings-on:

Christmas

So sad it's gone, right? Seriously...you get your tree up and decorated, presents all nicely wrapped under it, and it just "smells" like Christmas. Then in no time at all, your house is destroyed, the tree comes down, and you wonder if you've always had this much empty space in your house. Oh yeah, except for the toys...the mounds and mounds of toys that, once opened, creep into every room in the house and under every piece of furniture. Ugh! My kids have way too much stuff, but it's so hard not to make it BIG for them!

We had an amazing Christmas! Penn woke up on Christmas morning and immediately grabbed for the two ornament-shaped Cokes that Santa brought. He was so excited! Yeah...Santa brought a wagon with a roof and tons of toys too, but the "ball Cokes" stole the show...should have known!

We spent all day traveling at warp speed. From our house to my parents', then to the in-laws, and finally to the Carmon family Christmas (all day in the pouring rain), we had a pretty crazy day, but it reminded me how truly blessed I am for having such a close family. I can't imagine giving up even one of our "engagements."

Mama

A few days after Christmas, Mama's diverticulitis began acting up again. She's still in the boat for surgery in the next few weeks and we're just hoping that she feels better soon. She'll got from times of feeling pretty normal, to being laid up in the bed. Just hearing her talk, you know how she's feeling. I think she'll feel like a new woman once they get this under wraps. Who knows how long she's been letting this fester!

New Year

If there's one thing this past year has taught me, it's that you can't get moments back. Through Jude's pregnancy and birth, Cam's deployment, Aunt Connie's death, Pack's promotion, and our transition to Virginia, our family has experienced joy, sadness, excitement, worry, and fear to the extreme this year. 2009 was bittersweet. I am saying goodbye to a decade that (for the most part), made my life what it is. I started dating Pack in 2000, got married in 2005, and babies in 2007 and 2009! Those were my most joyous moments. Then there were the times of sorrow...the death of my last remaining grandparent, the sudden loss of my sweet Aunt, seeing my parents go through their own struggles of health and well-being, and the loss of other family and friends. There is no getting those moments back to experience them one last time (and for some, I am thankful for that), but I am so blessed to have had the moments that remind me just how special family really is!

Virginia

Speaking of 2009, I was disappointed in not including a MOVE to Virginia to wrap up the decade. Unfortunately, we are still trying to sell our adorable home that I love so much. I can't imagine living anywhere else with my boys, but I know we'll adjust well and it will be so, so nice to have Daddy home all the time again. Hopefully, I'll still be able to stay home with them when we move, but you never know...houses don't come cheap!

Green Stuff

I'm talking about money...the insufficient amount of it. I have graciously offered to take the finances off Pack hands and make budgeting my responsibility. Maybe a better way to say this would be that I relieved Pack of the burden of my spending (I don't spend on me though!!!). I'm trying to lay out a budget and cook more regularly because I actually think that we can waste less and save more if I quit letting everything in my pantry and fridge go bad! This should also impact our waistlines (I hope, I hope), thus being good for the planet...haha! For the past few months, I've been "priming" myself to get started becoming the best "homemaker" I can be and not having to worry as much about money would be a great start! I know myself well enough to know that jumping in with both feet is never my style...I've always like to dip a toe in gradually and get used to the water. Maybe in another year, I'll be able to report that I'm a regular tree huggin', coupon clippin', penny pinchin', baby-sittin' (ok, SAHM'in) gal!

NOW...seeing as how this is the longest stretch of "alone time" I've had to blog, I better get ready for the GREAT AWAKENING!

Preach it!

2010-01-04T18:16:00.000-05:00

"Venting every feeling isn't mature. Learning to deal with uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings is an important aspect of maturity. The pop-psych notion that you have to divulge every unpleasantness or you will have gangrene of the soul and spirit is ultimate nonsense. Learning to endure, transform by perspective or action, and be grateful is the fast lane to a good life. That's right. Having great luck and fortune is not the conduit to loving and enjoyable life; gratitude is." -Dr. Laura Schlessinger

I feel like I owe my husband an apology...yikes!

If Mama Ain't Happy...

2009-12-09T13:02:00.000-05:00

I think that most people who know my mom would describe her as "tough as nails." This is by far one of her most stubborn qualities. I remember when I was little, if she was sick enough to stay home from work, I thought she was dying! Crazy lady! So we knew something was up a few weeks ago when she started letting on that she was having some stomach issues. I kind of didn't think a lot of it because she seems to have some food sensitivities sometimes and we let it get by for a few weeks without addressing it too much. Finally, she started having fever, chills, and a sensitive stomach to the touch and we knew something was up. Karen and I nagged her to death to go to Urgent Care about it (she hasn't seen a doctor for a check-up since she donated a kidney over a decade ago). They saw her and diagosed her with "diverticulitis" and put her on some antibiotics. When I asked her if she wished she had gone earlier, she responded, "Well, I suffered with hives for two years before going to a doctor and I had already diagnosed myself with this anyway!" She still wouldn't concede that she had let it get out of hand!

After a week or more on antibiotics, we thought she was on the mend. Unfortunately, the symptoms returned and we pressured her some more to go see another doctor. She made an appointment for yesterday afternoon, took a half day of work, and FINALLY went to see "her" doctor. He sent her for a CT scan at the hospital and told her that if everything looked okay, he would send her home with some meds and make a follow-up appointment. After the CT scan, she waited around for quite a while until she told the nurses that she was going home and they could call her with the results because she had to be at work in 10 hours! At this point, the nurses knew that the doctor would be less than happy if they let her go home because they could see something was up. They told her to wait and shortly after, they told her she would be admitted.

She finally got into a room at about 11 last night, but didn't actually see or speak to a doctor until this morning. The verdict was that she has an abscess on her intestines and possibly a hole in addition to the diverticulitis. The doctor was shocked, he said, because she wasn't yelling in pain when her stomach was touched and she was able to work and go about her regular activities. That's mom for you...tough to a fault!

Anyway, I just went to see her and she looked as normal as she's looked at home for the past few weeks and still maintaining that she's not really in any pain...WHATEVER! I firmly believe that if they had let her go home last night, she would have gone to work today, even if she had known the diagnosis. I'm so thankful that they decided to keep her. I just wanted to keep everybody updated and for those of you that are praying...THANK YOU and KEEP IT UP!

Found this...loved it!

2009-11-09T14:18:00.000-05:00

A Child's Ten Commandments to Parents

By Dr. Kevin Leman, from his book First-Time Mom, published by Tyndale.

1. My hands are small; please don't expect perfection whenever I make a bed, draw a picture or throw a ball. My legs are short; please slow down so that I can keep up with you.

2. My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; please let me explore safely: don't restrict me unnecessarily.

3. Housework will always be there. I'm only little for such a short time - please take time to explain things to me about this wonderful world, and do so willingly.

4. My feelings are tender; please be sensitive to my needs; don't nag me all day long. (You wouldn't want to be nagged for your inquisitiveness.) Treat me as you would like to be treated.

5. I am a special gift from God; please treasure me, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by and disciplining me in a loving manner.

6. I need your encouragement, but not your praise, to grow. Please go easy on the criticism; remember, you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me.

7. Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit me to fail, so that I can learn from my mistakes. Then someday I'll be prepared to make the kind of decisions life requires of me.

8. Please don't do things over for me. Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn't quite measure up to your expectations. I know it's hard, but please don't try to compare me with my brother or my sister.

9. Please don't be afraid to leave for a weekend together. Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need vacations from kids. Besides, it's a great way to show us kids that your marriage is very special.

10. Please take me to Sunday school and church regularly, setting a good example for me to follow. I enjoy learning more about God.

The Sound of Silence...

2009-10-27T13:12:00.000-04:00

Since Pack's out of town so much, "Mommy time" has really been lacking lately. So much, in fact, that I have actually been looking forward to my dentist appointment today because that means going out in public sans tots! I called Mrs. G. last week (the most awesome babysitter in the universe) and lined her up to keep both the boys for me during my appointment, which is around two in the afternoon. She, very graciously, offered to meet me at the library this morning and let the boys ride home with her after Story Time (which today, by the way, reminded me a little of what my worst nightmare might be like), saving me from having to drive all the way out to Coward and back, and giving me a few lonely (not in a bad way) hours to play with. Boy, did I need it! I shopped at a bookstore, swung by Starbucks, and headed home to eat my lunch without having to balance Jude on one knee and my lunch on the other, or keeping Penn from feeding all of his lunch to our dog. I felt like I was at a spa eating my chicken patty between bread (okay, maybe not a spa, but definitely a relaxing place). So now I'm waiting for my appointment time, reflecting on this most welcome blessing of relaxation time. Mrs. G may never read this to really understand the depths of my thanks, but I'll make sure to tell her..."Thanks a million...interested in moving to Virginia???"

Selling Houses Stinks!!!

2009-10-03T22:47:00.000-04:00

Pack and I are going crazy. We kind feel like we're in real estate Limbo. We have found several house/neighborhoods in Richmond/Chesterfield that we really like a lot, but we can't take any action because our house in Florence is still for sale. Any bites? Yes, a few "nibbles." Basically, we haven't had any serious lookers and we're starting to get really frustrated with this whole process. Pack has officially started his new job in VA and he's traveling there during the week, which puts me home alone with the kids. And let me make it clear that I am not cut out for single parenting...NOT FOR ME! I can't wait to have my family under one roof again!

Now that we've got that rant out of the way, let's move on from things we can't change...

Jude is getting SO BIG! I can't believe how much he's grown and he's catching on. He's waving and kissing and I'm enjoying his baby days sooo much! I remember with Penn being so excited and eager for him to crawl, walk, eat solids, you know...milestones, that I really didn't get to enjoy his baby-hood the way I'm trying to with Jude. I try to hold him a lot because I know he doesn't get held quite as much as Penn did (consequence of being the second child, I guess). Anyway, one day, I set him down on the rug and he flipped right over onto his belly, tucked his legs under his body, and started rocking back and forth on his chubby little thighs! He might have been doing that for a while, but Mommy didn't notice because I was too busy trying to keep him as my baby forever! Can I freeze frame him right here??? Even as young as Penn is, I miss the downy soft hair, non-smelly feet and breath, completely unscarred, unblemished skin, gummy grins...I could just eat him!!!

On the other hand, the starting solids phase has been a little rocky for us. I started letting him taste baby food at 4 months (just as I did with Penn). I was kind of hoping it would help him sleep better at night, but he didn't take to it well, so I waited a week and tried again. No luck. We did this little dance off and on until he was about five months, at which time, I started feeding him more regularly. Now he's six months old, and is just getting past apple sauce and rice cereal. I am constantly reminded of how different every baby is, but it's so hard not to compare.

I've also been having some anxiety over my breastfeeding experience. I started working as a long-term sub for a co-worker at DLC (just for six weeks, approximately), and I had built of up a nice little stash of frozen breastmilk that I had pumped off and on since Jude was a couple of months old. Well, my little monster tore through that "nice little stash" in a little over a week and even with me pumping twice during the workday (and it isn't easy to get out of my classroom and find a private spot for 15 minutes twice a day), I wasn't keeping up! At one point, I had to start pumping FOUR TIMES A DAY! I cannot even begin to express how much I hate pumping, so this only lasted three or four days before I came up with my solution. I still pump at work, but usually only once or maybe twice, and I'm sending formula to the babysitter to feed him when he drinks all his milk. This ends up being the equivalent to about six ounces of formula a day, but I feel like I'm digging myself a hole. I'm planning on nursing full time, once I'm home again in another couple of weeks, but I'm concerned that I might lose some of my supply. I'm hoping that just as my body adjusted to different feeding shedules with Penn, I'll also adjust flawlessly with Jude too (I know...comparing again!), but we'll have to see.

Now for my sweet Penn...oh how I love him! He's still as rotten as ever, and sometimes we see a little bully creep out of his personality, but this kid always amazes us! Just last week, we discovered he could count backwards from 1o and he knew his left from his right! Let me take this time to say he's got the best babysitter in the world who always reads to him, teaches him about nature, and has the most fun house ever! He always makes us laugh too! I think the phrase, "Kids say the darndest things," was written for our little Penn. He's addicted to bouncy balls, carries around a red cooler filled with balls and other toys, and loves to snuggle with his mommy and watch "Ant Bully."

I could go on for days about my sweet babies. I never imagined I could love two little people like this. A taste of God's love for us. I would give my life for these two precious boys and I can't wait to get to know them more.

Earlybird Special!

2009-09-10T18:12:00.000-04:00

My parents split up their child-bearing years by 13 years. Growing up, I obviously didn't have a lot in common with my older brother and sister, but thankfully I've gotten to know them better as I've gotten older.

As you can imagine, we haven't shared a lot of life experiences...until recently!
When I was at the very end of my pregnancy with Jude, Amy announced to the family that she was pregnant to (this was a huge surprise, not only to us, but to Amy, Perry, and 15 year-old brother Dustin, as well). To add to the surprise factor of this pregnancy, the baby had to be delivered by c-section after Amy was diagnosed with preeclampsia at 35 weeks.

My newest nephew, Dylan Macon Hodge was born last night tipping the scales at 3 pounds, fifteen ounces and 17.5 inches long. By far, the tiniest baby I have ever seen, but oh so cute! I am now the proud aunt of six nephews ranging in age from 1 day to 18 years (and one 20 year-old niece). Our family is so blessed!

Here I am scrubbing up to go see him for the first time!

To top it off, little Dylan came into the world in a very significant way. Besides the obviously cool birthdate of 9-9-09, he is my parent's 9th grandchild, which means he's going to be just fine. God has such a sense of humor!

I'm going to end with a picture of my precious new nephew. Enjoy!

Praying for one night....just one!

2009-09-08T22:47:00.001-04:00

I'm up right now, scared to walk to my bedroom for fear of waking the beast...aka...sweet baby Jude. The past couple of nights have left quite a bit to be desired and I feel like a zombie at this point. Daytime Jude is AMAZING! He's got an easy smile and I can still take him basically anywhere without any problems. He's not even super-attached to me...in the daytime...

Then, the skies darken and screams erupt from his little body that sound something like noises you might hear during a car accident. We had just had several nights of him sleeping through the night (basically) and I guess we got a little too over-confident thinking that we might get to experience sleep once again.

Wrong!

Jude has decided that he wants to sleep only with me, only on my arm, only while he is nursing. He's also pretty much been on a paci strike for over a month now. Trying to slip that in during the night is equivocal to slapping him in the face. The biggest insult ever!

Please pray for him to remember how nice it was to sleep through the night...for all of us! Here goes...

So, Virginia...

2009-08-17T15:38:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe that after so many months of wondering and waiting, we finally know something! Pack and I are scared, excited, anxious, and eager in thinking about our upcoming move. This is such a big deal for us. Pack has lived in Florence since he was a very little boy and I have been in Florence my WHOLE LIFE! This is going to be a major change for us. I'm so thankful that I started this blog so I can organize my brain a little better around these circumstances.

Today we met with our second realtor and it's got me even MORE nervous! She seemed to think that our house will sell within days of showing it, which means I won't have a place to live while I do a maternity leave at DLC that I have obligated myself for. I really thought we had plenty of time before our house sold. I guess this would be a good problem to have, but still...

Pack and I are also in cahoots on what we want to do when we get to Richmond. Should we rent for a while until we get our bearings, or should we go ahead and buy something we like so we don't have to move again in a few months at our expense? ESAB is paying for our movers and helping out a lot with the relocation process, so I am not sure what we'll be doing. We're not exactly on the same page with what we want to do, so I told Pack I would leave the decision up to him. I'm praying that I'll be okay with whatever he decides (although, he can expect my input...).

This whole process seems to be going so quickly! It's only been a week since we found out he got the job and already he's ordered his company vehicle, we've been preapproved for a loan, realtors have been contacted, and our house is very nearly on the market! All this and we still haven't had time to tidy up our closets or do other little things around the house that we always said we would do before we sold it.

Please pray for calm nerves, understanding families, and discernment for us to do the right things for our family! This new change in our life is quite a roller coaster, but hopefully, we're ready for the ride!

Richmond, VA...Here we come!

2009-08-12T18:52:00.000-04:00

Yay! Awesome news this week after a couple of months of big, fat nothing! Pack got the job he interviewed for at the beginning of the summer and it appears that we'll soon be truckin' it to VA. I'm on my blackberry now so I'll keep this short until I can update more later.

New Perspectives

2009-07-26T22:49:00.000-04:00

When I first got pregnant with Jude, Pack bought me two books to read. Once was called Twice Blessed and the other was called Beyond One. Both books discussed the hardships and joys of choosing to make the decision to grow your family after already having one child. When I first read these books (especially at the beginning), I was terrified. Both books discussed the reality that with each additional child added to a family, more arguments take place between the parents. Also, they said that the stress levels of mothers tend to skyrocket and obviously the work load increases. I was really thinking that I should have read these books before we actually got pregnant. Well, that was not to be, and as I finished both books, I was left thinking...maybe we won't have those problems!

Months (almost a year) later, here we are. A family of four. I have noticed glimpses of the scenarios the books described in my own home...we didn't escape it. Simple tasks and disagreements can go nuclear and turn into all-out battles sometimes, and I'm left feeling ashamed and lonely. I would have liked to think that I wasn't going to give in to the stereotype of the nagging wife, but alas, I have.

Now for the good news...

This past week at Vacation Bible School, we were learning about Peter. One of the lessons I taught was about Peter and Jesus having a heart to heart about the depth of his love for the Lord. Without even realizing the words were even coming out of my mouth, I was instructing the class of adults to "Follow God now!" and I was asking them to think about in what ways Jesus wanted each of them (and me) to tend or feed his sheep. So I figure that God laid that on my heart for a reason, and I needed to really seek out what that meant in my life.

I was thinking that the best place to start this ministry would be in my own home. It seems that I have gotten so wrapped up in mothering and and my other roles, that I had become a wife that made very little effort to minister to her own husband. (I haven't talked to Pack directly about this because I'm wanting to see how any changes will affect our marriage, but I figure blogging about it is safe, because he rarely reads it unless I ask him to.)

It's actually kind of humorous. As my first step in becoming more like the wife I want to be, I asked Pack to start letting me know one or two things he would like done around the house during the day. Ha! He was floored! He mentioned something about making our living room look less like a playroom and sorting through/throwing away some toys, but immediately was suspicious of me. Our conversation went a little something like this after he had a few minutes to think about what I was doing:

Pack: Why do you want me to give you some things to do?

Me: I don't know, I just thought I could work on some things around here that have been bothering you for a change.

Pack: Ummmm....are you trying to trick me?

Me: What do you mean???

Pack: I mean, are you trying to get me to do your back at night or something?

Me: Well, if you did, that would be a bonus, but no.

Pack: You just want me to do whatever you ask me to do, right? Nevermind, don't do the toys, it's not worth it.

Me: Pack really, I'm not being tricky!!!

Pack: This is awesome!

So this same conversation has gone on several times besides this initial one and he still thinks I'm trying to get a gift out of it or something. We'll see how long I can hold out without telling him what's up, but he might be getting wiser since I asked him where the UNREAD copy of Love Dare was that I got him for Christmas...haha!

Just in the few days I've been doing this, I've seen us fight less and I've been able to do things for my family and especially my husband with more of a willing heart. I am thankful for the changes that I am already able to see and I can't wait to see how this goes!

Tickle Time

2009-07-17T13:21:00.000-04:00

I can't believe how fast Jude is growing! In a few days, he'll officially be four months old and I'm trying to soak up every baby minute. Pack's been getting frustrated because he feels like we don't take as many pictures or videos of Jude as we did with Penn (I'm pretty sure this is not a problem unique to us, though.). Anyway, I took this this morning as documentation that I'm trying, and you can see this precious laugh that Jude's been practicing lately. So cute!

*Note: Please excuse my singing at the beginning of this video...maybe that's why he's laughing!*

Oh yeah...

2009-07-16T14:17:00.000-04:00

I almost forgot...Saturday night is mine and Pack's first official date night with no kids for the whole night, since Jude was born. I'm really nervous about leaving Jude so young (Penn won't even miss us), but I've been pumping every morning for like two weeks so I've got a stash of milk built where we could almost take off for the whole weekend:)

My husband is super-amazing, but I've been getting really stressed about housework, childcare, and no sleep lately and he's gotten the brunt of it all, so we're really looking forward to a night for us. The man deserves it after putting up with me for so long! Just wanted to share the excitement!

Bathtime Solution!

2009-07-16T12:28:00.000-04:00

So one of my "new mom again" dilemmas has been with bathing Jude. I cannot for the life of me remember how we bathed Penn when he was Jude's age. I know we didn't have any special bathtub for babies or anything (because we didn't have the space) and I know we actually did bathe the kid! I remember that we showered with him sometimes, but Pack and I had to do it together so one of us could hold him and the other could wash him and get him in and out. This is not feasable now that we have an active set of little feet running around the house unsupervised. I've even tried bathing him in the sink in the kitchen and I just can't figure it out. I'm so worried I'm going to drown him until he can sit up!

Well, as I was thinking about this a few weeks ago, I had an idea...maybe I could bathe him and Penn together while Jude is in the Bumbo. For those of you that don't know what that is, it is one of my favorite baby thingies. Here's a pic:
Well, as wonderful as the Bumbo is for most circumstances, it sucked in a bath. This is because I found out that a Bumbo floats...very dangerous in a tub with water and a wiggly toddler. I still thought that there might be some way to use the Bumbo for bathtime though. This week, I figured it out. When Penn was in bed, I put the Bumbo in the tub and took a shower. I was able to bathe the baby with me and not have to hold him the entire time! It worked like a charm:)

So now that that problem is solved...I can actually bathe Jude more regularly and more peacefully. I just though I might not be the only one dealing with this problem and thought I would share.

More breastfeeding

2009-06-30T23:43:00.001-04:00

I just thought this was funny. I had Karen take a picture of me at the zoo because I was so proud of how far I've come. I went from chasing down fitting rooms and finding places to sit comfortably when I was nursing Penn to walking through the zoo, not wanting to miss seeing anything. It's amazing what having a toddler and a newborn requires you to be able to do. Maybe I AM a breastfeeding snob, Karen:)

Oh and PS...that's my cute, super-simple nursing cloth that I bought when I was preggo with Penn...15 dollars very well spent!

Anyhoo...as "experienced" as I think I am, I'm definitely not an expert. Recently, I don't know if I've enabled Jude to develop a lazy latch or if something bigger is wrong, but for some reason, feeding him is soooo noisy lately! I'm not just talking about slurps, gulps, and sighs (that's always been noisy), but he's started clicking while he's eating almost the entire time! It's really driving me crazy because I know he's not nursing properly, but I can't figure out how to correct it.

One option I found out seems like it might be the root cause. I discovered early on that I had a very strong letdown ejaculation reflex that actually gags him while he's eating. Basically, when my milk lets down, it pretty much chokes him and causes him to gasp for air and even makes his little lips turn blue...scary! I tried some different nursing suggestions and positions and I figured that it corrected itself or that Jude just adjusted to it. Now I'm thinking that may not be the case. The clicking is him losing suction time after time after time... This in turn causes pretty sore nipples and aside from that, the noise is driving me crazy! Any advice?

All about lately...

2009-06-29T23:12:00.001-04:00

So I was waiting to post until I knew something about Pack's interview, but guess what...NO NEWS! We still have no idea if he got it or not, but we are realistic in thinking he would have gotten a call already if he got the job. We're okay with that though because we figure that whatever happens will happen for a reason and we'll be fine.

On to other things...

We have had a blast lately with summer activities. Karen and I have been going to the Splash Pad at Lynches River once a week lately (with the kids, of course). I think I have a tan for the first time in like three years, thanks to my new favorite place! We also talked my parents into letting us put a cheap above-ground pool in their backyard for the kids to play in with us. I do realize that I'm an adult now and have my own house and yard, but we felt their house would be a central location and we wouldn't have to fight the redbugs there. We've also checked out the free movies at the Swamp Fox Theater once a week (Penn loved it....Jac, not so much!). Between those things and Library Story Time on Tuesdays, we are staying really busy!

This past weekend we celebrated a couple of things. First of all, Jude officially turned three months old. I can't believe it's been three months already! He's such a great baby, and I'm trying to soak up every minute of his babyhood. I love the simple smiles, bald head, and sweet smelling breath (don't take that for granted...it doesn't last long!). He's so precious and I'm such a lucky mom to have two beautiful, fun boys! Life doesn't get any better than that! And to document the day, here's my little precious pumpkin...couldn't you eat him up???

Our next celebration was my cousin (and one of my BFFs) Beth's surprise graduation party. Getting together with family is always fun, but especially so when we can surprise someone...and that's not difficult with our family. Beth just earned her master's degree and everyone wanted to do something special for her...I think the party did the trick. She really deserved it after working so hard!

Sunday was my church's annual Patriotic service and potluck. Absolutely one of my favorite services of the year. We start out in the yard with cannons and musket fire with re-enacters from previous wars and move inside for a time of worship and patriotic music. Probably my favorite part is when current and former servicemen are recognized. I get misty every year seeing uncles and other ordinary men from my church stand up and be recognized for the sacrifices they've made. My in-laws came this year and Pack's father was able to be recognized for his service in the Army. I kept thinking how strange it will be next year when Cam stands up as a veteran...so weird, but I'm definitely proud and thankful for him! After our service (which I was called out of to feed Jude), we enjoyed the biggest buffet lunch you've ever seen in your life! Seriously, that much food in one place is insane, but oh so good!

Pack sitting with Penn waiting for the cannons and muskets to start firing.

So anyway, that's what's been going on lately. I'll try to post some pictures later. I'm hoping that in one of my next posts I'll be able to tell everyone more on the job front, but for now, no news is no news...

Just my boys...

2009-06-18T14:41:00.000-04:00

These are a couple of videos that we've taken this week. The first one is my sweet little Jude who has been the social butterfly lately. He's been smiling for a while now, but it just keeps getting cuter.
The second video is Penn eating celery...yes...the child that will eat no other veggies will eat celery. This video is the second cut. The first one (I will spare you from) ends with him gagging because he kept talking with his mouth full. Manners are for a reason!

This second video is Penn eating celery...yes...the child that will eat no other veggies will eat celery. This video is the second cut. The first one (I will spare you from) ends with him gagging because he kept talking with his mouth full. Manners are for a reason!

Ahhhh!

2009-06-12T14:14:00.000-04:00

What a great day! This is a pretty non-eventful post, but one of those days that I just might forget unless I write about it. Days like today help me get through afternoons like yesterday (which started out great, but had a rough few hours later).

Jude and I got up right as Pack was leaving for work and we left Penn snoozing in the bed. He wakes up in a much better mood when no one else is in the room. So he teetered to the living room about 30 minutes after we did with a chipper, "Hey Mommy...I waked up!" We sat around for a while and had breakfast then decided to call Karen and see if she and Jac were interested in going to the Y for a swim before lunch. Penn had a blast in the pool and I even had him putting his head under the water for a second or two. We went down the slide together twice and then decided we needed to split for lunch. Both Penn and Jac left the pool like champs! I took Penn to "Old McDonald's" drive-thru and we got our lunches and headed home.

At home, I realized that when you get apples and caramel in a kid's meal, the slices are already peeled...woo hoo! Five minutes saved and minus one throw-up fest! It was as I was noticing the apple slices and how well Penn was eating that I also realized that Penn hasn't thrown up in weeks! I guess the medicine is doing it's job...and Penn is getting an appetite again and actually eating some more veggies. A miracle! Penn ate ALL of his food, and then we took a bath and laid on his floor until he fell asleep for his nap. Wow!

Let me not forget to mention what an angel little Jude has been. I haven't heard him get really upset in almost a week (besides when he's hungry and I can't feed him immediately). I thought Penn was an easy baby (although he's giving me a run for my money now...), but Jude is a breeze! I can take him anywhere (like I did last week at work). He's so content to just sit or lay, kick his legs, and smile his face off. Much more independent than Penn was at that age (which is great because Penn still requires so much attention!). God sure knows how to put together families perfectly!

So I realize that it's just about 2:30 now and we have a lot of day left, but I'm hopeful. We did something right today and I'm actually at the point where I can fathom the thought of having a third child one day (not any time soon, but you know what I mean...). As a matter of fact, if every day were like this, I'd probably have a baseball team in a few more years (I realize that a cheerleading squad is probably not in our future). Oh well, thank God for days like this when I can really appreciate being a mommy! Life is good!

Summertime!!!

2009-06-09T01:17:00.001-04:00

Today was my first "official" day as an unofficial stay at home mom. Woo hoo! This is what I always wanted to be when I grew up! Now let's see if I love it as much as I always hoped I would...

Now...about the goings on in our family. We've had some big things to think about lately and it's pretty exciting. Pack has an opportunity to take a job with ESAB in Richmond, Virginia soon. Nothing's definite yet (he still has to interview next Monday), but we're pretty stoked about the possibility. Basically, if he gets the job, that will mean more money and a definite on me getting to stay home indefinitely. If the job's not meant to be, then I'll probably be putting in applications come August (or sooner) and have to leave my precious boys for hours on end every day to work. We took a step of faith in agreeing to not signing my contract for the 2009-2010 school year and now District One is not hiring, so we've gone nothing else to do but wait on God to take care of us. So far, God is good (and his track record's not too bad either!).

In other news, Jude's baby dedication was this past Sunday. A lot of our family was out of town for the occasion, which was a bummer, but we still had a great day. Penn stood with us in front of the entire congregation and we were pretty nervous how that was going to go. Well, he was absolutely as perfect as any two-year-old could be and both my boys looked precious! Here's a glimpse of our little family after the service.

Thank you, God for my precious family and help me to cherish every day!!!

Liquid Gold

2009-06-09T00:50:00.000-04:00

Note: If all you're interested in is the goings on of the Packard family, stop here. This post is about breastfeeding and reader discretion is advised. This is a fair warning!

Okay, so I've been thinking a lot lately about breastfeeding (considering I spend a good portion of my day and night doing it) and I've been doing some research on different and facinating things. I'm curious what some people I know think about the issues.

First of all, here's my background (my limited readership is probably already aware of this). Breastfeeding Penn had a rocky start. After feeling like he was pulling needles out of my breasts for three weeks, I finally visited the lacatation consultants at McLeod. They didn't know what the problem was (why I was hurting), but they gave me a recipe for a miracle cream that had me feeling totally normal after a little less than a week. I probably wouldn't have made it more than those three weeks without that cream (ask me if you're interested in the "recipe"). So, I breastfed and pumped with Penn for 6 months before I started supplementing with formula. After that, I continued to breastfeed when I was with him on the weekends and weekdays after work until he was a little over a year old and he decided to wean himself off his one or two feedings a day. I am now nursing my second son, Jude and plan on doing so exclusively with no formula for a year or more since I won't have to send him to a babysitter during the day and pump regularly...hopefully. Basically, I'm pretty experienced in the breastfeeding department.

My first issue I can't get off my mind is the issue of cross nursing. For those of you that don't know, that's the act of nursing a baby that isn't yours. Think of Salma Heyak breastfeeding the starving African baby. There's a lot of controversy over this. In the afore mentioned example, you're talking life or death (not so controversial), but in most cases, it's neighbors or family nursing one another's children for convenience sake or as a bonding/community ritual. I really can't decide how I feel about this issue. I can't honestly say that I would be a participant in it because I don't know how I would feel about someone else nursing my baby, but on the other hand, it doesn't sound so bad. An article in People magazine described a situation in which the mother of a baby had died during childbirth and the father wanted to keep the mother's wishes that her child be breastfed. He started buying frozen milk over the Internet, but then neighbors and friends of friends with babies started voluteering to actually breastfeed this baby for the first year. I think they said that there were about 25 women who rotated feeding the baby every three hours during the day and then the father gave bottles of frozen breastmilk at night. In a situation like that, I'm still not sure how I feel.

Here's another new tidbit I learned...from the Bible. I'm sure you all know the story of Ruth and Naomi. Ruth was Naomi's daughter in law, but after Ruth's husband (Naomi's son) died, Ruth had the choice to go back with her family. Instead of returning, she remained loyal to her mother-in-law and stayed with her. Ruth eventually remarried and had another son...that was breastfed by her mother-in-law! So this says to me there is nothing at all wrong with co-nursing, but then why am I still really weirded out when I hear about some other ordinary examples??? Thankfully, unless I happen to come across a starving baby, I doubt I'll ever breastfeed someone else's child!

This leads me to something else that I'm definitely a fan of. Selling breastmilk! Seriously, this stuff is a hot commodity on the Internet! If I weren't breastfeeding my own son right now, I would be totally on that! I would never take my child's milk, but women who sell their milk can make almost as much as I make teaching! So anyway, once Jude decides he's done, I may convince myself to live green and share the wealth. What a waste of resources if I don't because I could probably feed triplets on what Jude eats, lol. And here you can read about a philanthropic effort to get breast milk to AIDS orphans in Africa...what a unique opportunity to save lives!

Lastly, in my recent research, I have come across some high and mighty breastfeeders. Don't get me wrong, I'm really proud of breastfeeding and I'm thankful that I'm able to do it, but I don't judge anybody for stopping. My own mother tried to breastfeed her first baby and ended up with mastitis, which pretty much scared her from ever trying it again. After my minor "inexperienced nursing" pain, I can't imagine what that must feel like. I was ready to let that ball drop after a couple of weeks! I feel that the most important thing for babies is not what milk they are getting, but how confident their mothers are in caring for them. A women who breastfeeds and cries and dreads every feeding is not doing their child any favors!

To close, here are my top 10 tips or things I've learned about breastfeeding...

1. Breastfeeding is almost always convenient, but it takes a long time before it's easy!

2. You can't beat the calories you burn while nursing. Once I stopped, I gained 15 lbs in no time!

3. Breastfeeding sometimes hurts. Everyone I know that has breastfed has dealt with pain at some point. When you aren't used to it or aren't doing it perfectly, it does hurt! I say to give it a month or as long as you can. Usually, you and the baby will get the hang of it by then.

4. It takes a long time for milk to dry up when you stop nursing gradually and it won't happen overnight just because you aren't feeding regularly.

5. Nix nursing bras. They are a total waste of a lot of money, you can only wear them with granny shirts (and personally, I like to show off my curves...however temporary), and you're better off wearing built-in-bra camisoles under everything. If you double layer your clothing, you can nurse anywhere and you really don't even need a cover (although I LOVE my nursing cover and use it a lot anyway)!

6. Special nursing clothes or pj's are more trouble than they're worth...seriously. Wear v-necks and criss-cross necklines with stretchy fabrics and you're set!

7. Everyone expects you to answer the question, "Could he be hungry?" Sure he could! I finished feeding him 10 minutes ago, but anything's possible!

8. Buy Playtex nursing pads (if you need them). They have the best adhesives and they aren't quite as big as some others. They are thick though! While you're at it, buy Lansinoh breast milk storage bags. They don't get holes in them when you freeze the milk!

9. Always have a drink handy when you're feeding. Nothing makes me thirstier than when I sit down to start feeding. As a matter of fact, it's worth it to learn to breastfeed while standing, walking and any other position that keeps you from being trapped on a couch with pillows!

10. Very few people are bothered by breastfeeding. As a matter of fact, I think most people are interested in it or don't care at all! Don't assume people are disgusted by breastfeeding.

I guess that's it...it seems I have to stop here anyway, as I have a hungry baby to feed...

Back to reality...for a week at least

2009-06-01T06:42:00.000-04:00

I'm typing up this quick post before I go back to work today...ugh! I can't believe I let Karen talk me into going back to work for one week! I'm at least hoping I don't cry leaving my babies today. My MIL is keeping Penn for the day and Karen volunteered to keep Jude...and to bring him to me to feed so I don't have to pump...I hate pumping! Hopefully they'll do great and I'll have a few little breaks during the day. I warned her that he may want to eat every 45 minutes to 4 hours...haha! Oh well, off to work I go!

I have a 2 year old!

2009-05-26T17:23:00.000-04:00

So, Penn's birthday was on Friday last week and as luck would have it, he woke up with fever. He pretty much slept through his birthday and he seemed to be feeling be feeling better by nighttime, so we took him to Chuck E. Cheese's for his birthday supper. He ate nothing, but he and Jac had a blast running around and playing games. I was so glad he was feeling better!

On to Saturday...we got to church early to set up and decorate and finished just before six. Everything looked great and mom was still clueless that the party was for her too. I felt bad that she worked so hard, but she wouldn't have it any other way. Karen said that she could write a book, How to Throw Your Own Surprise Party! Anyway, the party began and everything went super-smooth. Karen made a great slideshow of Mom and Mrs. Barbara and the food was delish! I can say that because I didn't make any of it, besides the cake. The kids had a blast playing basketball and running around the gym and except for the noise factor, I think they stayed out of the adults' hair.

Penn got so many great gifts and adorable clothes (I especially liked the MagnaDoodle, as it came in handy today at Penn's check-up). From looking at the gift table, you would probably think how present hungry our family must be, but in my defense, we have a super-big family and they buy great stuff. I'm going to have to think how to do things differently in the future, though. I feel so bad that he gets so much and other kids have nothing. Maybe we need to start a pre-birthday tradition of giving away good-condition toys and throwing away broken or missing pieces. Maybe we can even come up with some theme parties. Does anybody have any ideas (Book parties are out because we are already overflowing with more books that he'll ever care to read.)?

So, Penn's second birthday has come and gone and next year, I'll be having to plan for two spring birthday parties....sheesh! I guess I better start buckling down and getting ready for the craziness to come. As difficult has having a newborn and toddler is, it's probably only going to get harder and busier. Below are some pictures from Penn's party...enjoy!

Gift and cake tables are all decorated!

The Elmo/Basketball Birthday Cake I made...no easy task!

Opening presents...Samantha and Jac helped him get through this long 15 minutes of being held down by Mommy.

The Famous "Elmo Pimp Hat"

Mommy and Daddy with the Big Birthday Boy!!!

I leave you with one picture of sweet Jude (with Aunt Karen)...unfortunately, we don't have a lot of pictures of him from the party because, well...he wasn't doing a whole lot. Fortunately, he's precious and adorable all the time, so this should do:)

Birthday Countdown

2009-05-20T15:17:00.000-04:00

I'm soooo excited about Penn's birthday this weekend. I know he's going to have a blast. I'm so glad that I've been able to lighten up this year by choosing to have the party at my church instead of home. It makes some things a lot more complicated, but overall, much less stress in the housekeeping department. Also, since it's a surprise party for some relatives that shall remain nameless, a lot of my family is chipping in on the food. Okay, so they're just buying all of it and I'm just getting paper products, decorations, and Penn's cake (which I would have done anyway). Have I mentioned how much I love my family???

As you may know, I am NOT a domestic goddess or anything, but I do like trying my hand at doing some things myself. For example, since this party is an Elmo/Basketball themed party, I'm making the cake without a mold, which is kind of scary. I also saw a cute Elmo "pimp" hat at Sesame Street Live, but I could bring myself to pay twelve dollars for a party hat that he would probably destroy, so I bought a red, fuzzy hat at the dollar store and I'm making Elmo's face on it. I hope Penn likes it...I tend to go a little overboard on cutesy sometimes, but whatever! Here's how I hope, it's going to turn out (and I do not know this child, but this is the result I got when I typed in "Elmo Pimp Hat"):
More exciting news...Penn has not thrown up since we've upped his medicine. I also got him to eat a soft taco and apple pie the other day. This may not seem like much to some of you, but trying something new and not throwing up are two very excting things for our little Penn. I'm a happy Mama!

Oh well, enough for now. I'm not planning on posting anything for the next few days as I get ready for the party, but you never know...if something comes up, I may need to.

Smarty Pants!

2009-05-18T12:16:00.000-04:00

I almost forgot! Here is a video that I've been trying to get for months! Penn has been saying his ABC's since he was about 18 months old or so. My mom keep asking me to try and get it on film because no one believed that a child so young had learned his ABC's yet. Well, Penn refused to cooperate any time there was a camera around. I even tried to record just his voice on my phone, but he was wise to that too. I finally got him to start saying it in the car and I pulled out our flip video camera and started recording blindly. That's why you see my headrest a lot. I was trying not to turn around so he wouldn't think it was a big deal. Finally I saw that I could use the side-view mirror to see the view screen on the camera and I was able to line it up a little better. It's probably not that impressive now that he's officially two years old, but I still think my children are geniuses and cute as all get out!!

CampinTrip

2009-05-17T16:38:00.000-04:00

What a fun weekend! On Friday, I thought my excitement about the camping trip was going to be in vain because of the mass amounts of rain I saw soak my front yard. Alas, the rain stopped (as it always does) and the sun came out and pretty much dried it all out. Am I starting to sound like a children's song...haha? Anyway, we figured that we'd go out to Lynches River and see if everyone was coming anyway since we already had the vehicle packed and ready. The night saw one more little bit of rain, but the rest of the weather was perfect. The kids played and had a blast even though we had absolutely NO toys for them (oops). Penn ate a reliable meal of hot dogs and Cheetos (a meal we've named "Old Faithful" because we won't see it come back up) so we were happy campers...hehe. I'm pretty sure Jude only made a couple of peeps the whole time and never worked up a full-lunged cry the whole time. I'm a believer that you should take your children on the fun things you do too. It's not always easy and they don't always cooperate, but they learn to have fun with mom and dad and other adults and kids. I don't like to miss out on fun stuff just because I've got babies.

We were having so much fun that we didn't check the time and ended up putting the kids to bed at about 10:30 or so and it took a little longer for them to settle down. Pack actually brought an emergency TV with flashlight, siren, radio, and strobe (Thanks in-laws!) and Penn watched "snow" until he fell asleep. We woke up pretty early the next morning and got up and had breakfast. It was yummy, but we started seeing signs that they boys hadn't gotten enough sleep. We took down our tent and packed up the vehicles and headed over to the park for the boys to play. Once again, Jude was a super-sport. Not a whimper! After some wrestling, we visited the Discovery Center for Penn and Jac to look at the animal furs, bugs, bird nests, and anything else they had there. After that, we decided to head home and Penn was asleep in the car before we got out of Effingham.

So that was the camping trip in a semi-nutshell and here are a few pictures from the trip.

Here we are setting up. Penn's in orange because I was afraid he might wander off and I wanted him to wear something bright. Karen dressed Jac in camo...haha.

My sweet angel Jude on the new camping table that Pack bought us. I think he's got dimples!!!
There were tons of wonderful church people who helped me do some baby-holdin. This is Jan.
As you can see...Penn was not in the best of moods on Saturday morning. The Park helped to get his mind off he tired-ness.
Finally, a family picture. These are few and far between these days! I love my boys!

Penn update

2009-05-15T13:30:00.000-04:00

At our one-and-a-half hour doctor visit yesterday, we had a geat revelation...I am the worst scheduler in the world...really. As we sat in the exam room and stormed through several temper tantrums from all of us except Jude, I realized that week after next...I'll be back...ON TWO SEPARATE DAYS!!! As if we weren't already wasting one afternoon on a visit where we decided simply to up the dosage on his Zantac, dummy me scheduled Penn and Jude's check-ups on two seaparate days in the same week! I hope my babysitter (aka...MIL) will be available. Oh well, I'll get through it.
Next up...Elim campout tonight. I'm so excited (obviously, right?) and can't wait until I can update with pictures. Let's hope all goes well!

Penn getting cozy

2009-05-14T23:52:00.000-04:00

This is just a quick post to show a cute picture (if I can figure it out...). Here's the story...I basically do all our laundry on two days during each week because I'm lazy and that's the way I work. Anyway, Pack took all the folded laundry to our bed earlier in the day and stacked it up so we could put it up before bed. I haven't really thought much about it, as I've been up doing other things. So I just went to my bedroom and lo and behold, Penn had somehow managed to crawl over the mounds of laundry to find a cozy spot in our bed. There's just something comforting about sleeping in Mommy and Daddy's bed, I guess. So sweet.

Yum!

2009-05-14T13:29:00.000-04:00

On 89.7 WMHK (the Christian radio station) yesterday, one of their hosts mentioned a yummy after school snack she was going to make for her kids. I thought the concept for home-made granola bars sounded easy (and cheap, and yummy) so I looked up her blog to get the recipe. I am now a follower after I realized that she kept a blog of awesome mom-tips. I'm hooked! This recipe was so easy and even though Penn wouldn't try it (shocker!), I couldn't stop eating them and I'm worried that they may not make it to the church-wide camp-out at Lynches River County Park tomorrow night, as was originally my intention. So if the granola bar thing interests you, check it out the recipe here. Also, check out this awesome blog at Mandyofftheradio.blogspot.com. She posts pretty regularly so keep checking to see new stuff.

Anyway, on today's agenda is taking Penn to see our family doctor to re-evaluate the medicine he's on for what we think is reflux. He's never had any sort of test to confirm that's what it is, so the thought that we may be medicating him for something he doesn't have really worries me. I really trust our family doctor though, and since he sees all of us, he has an idea of what our family already deals with medically and that gives me some peace of mind.

Also, we're going camping shopping! Our church is having a campout tomorrow night at Lynches River County Park and we're going, babies and all! We already have a tent that can be set up in about one minute (which is awesome) and it works great for just the two of us, however...our family consists of more than two now. I'm a little worried that our little tent may get a bit stuffy with two bed-hog babies so we're looking for something we can stretch out in a little more. We also need to buy sleeping bags. I have no idea what happened to the bags we both had growing up, but they are nowhere to be found and I imagine they may be a little less than clean after being lost for so long. So, those are on the list to buy too now! This should be fun! If it goes well, we may do a camping family vacation this year so save some moo-lah! We'll definitely have to go up to the mountains though...or risk suffocating. Hey...if anyone knows of any cool (and cheap) things to do with the little ones this summer, let me know! It is of the upmost importance for me to stay occupied and not sit around at home all day.

Oh well, that's all I can think of for now. I'll hopefully be posting the outcome of the doctor's visit at some point (maybe tomorrow...). Pray for a solution!!!

While babies are napping...

2009-05-12T11:27:00.000-04:00

Halleluia! My angel husband decided to keep the night owl baby in the living room last night until he woke up hungry so I could get some sleep without having an infant on my arm. He stayed asleep in his swing until almost 2 am! Pack brought him to bed and I had to feed him again at 5 am, but that was sooo okay! In that time, Pack fixed our computer (another Halleluia), did some laundry (...Halleluia), and tried to get the throw-up smell out the couch (if it works...Halleluia!). So after a nice night, I woke up with the boys, sent Pack off to work, and went to the gym for half an hour (spent on the treadmill). *Note: I would have stayed longer, but when I had my six-week check-up after Jude's birth last Friday, the doctor wasn't totally ready to clear me so I not only have to go back in two months, he's also instructed me to stick to walking/light jogging and light weights (Does repeatedly lifting a 30 lb toddler count?). This works out well for me since my body's gotta get used to these workouts.

Penn cried the whole time at the Y today, which was very unusual, but I think it was because I had to drop him off in a room he wasn't used to. So now, Jude and Penn are taking naps and I'm getting a little unexpected computer time! Tonight I'll be going out with my awesome cousins (and my best friends), Beth and Barbara without babies in tow. Then, tomorrow...Sesame Street Live at the Civic Center!

I'm looking forward to all the business of the week so I can try to get Penn away from the TV. I've done a few no-TV days (thanks to the inspiration of Chelsea), but when I'm by myself with two babies, it is kinda saving my sanity so I can feed the baby in peace. We'll see how it goes when I try to wean him off Noggin and ETV...

My boy...sigh

2009-05-11T14:49:00.000-04:00

Today is one of the days when I normally think, "Man, I wish I had a blog to write about this and see if anyone can relate to me!" Well, it just so happens that today, I do, and this may be one of those posts that I mentioned you may not care to hear about.

Penn, my precious two year old (almost) is perfect in every area that I can think of. I mean, he definitely is turning that corner from baby to boy and is testing out effectiveness of the discipline department in our house, but that's amazingly normal. I have no complaints about his behavior (today, at least). My issue is with his digestive system, so here's the story...

Penn was a breastfed baby. After a rocky first three weeks (where I was in agony 12-15 times a day), Penn nursed like a champ and grew like one too. We noticed pretty early on that he spit up a lot, but kind of pinned that down to being a gassy baby with mild reflux. He was ahead of the game in the numbers department in height and weight, so the doctor wasn't too concerned about some projectile vomit and heavy spit-up once or twice a week. When I had to go back to work, I pumped until he was six months old. It was then, that I decided to start supplementing with formula. I hated pumping...especially at work...and he was still nursing a lot in the afternoons and at night, so I felt it was pretty natural. I always worried that my pumping wasn't keeping up with his needs because I only had time to pump once during an eight hour day. Anyway, it was about then that reflux started rearing its ugly head...

As Penn began sampling solid foods and adding formula into his diet, the spit-up and throw-up spells became more chronic. It would usually come during a meal and a coughing spell. It was embarrassing to go anywhere, not knowing if he would horrify other guests by this spectacle. After Penn was about a year old, he started to wean himself (although I would have liked to keep it up for about six more months) the doctor finally agreed to let us try him on Baby Zantac, twice a day. After two months, we thought we had witnessed a miracle. Our picky eater, was eating whole meals and weeks would go by without a throw-up episode. It was wonderful and we had hopes that one day, he might be able to be weaned off the medicine!

Unfortunately, now...it's starting up again. We'll notice a cough or sneeze and then see his eyes start watering during a meal or after. Within a minute, he can release the entire contents of his stomach. It's so gross and I apologize for the details again, but I'm losing my brain. Last month, we had to throw out the only piece of carpet we had in our house and today, I'd love to do the same with our couch (except we can't afford that...). My first problem to solve is how to get the vicious smell out of the fabric without making our house spell like the cleaning aisle at Walmart. Next is to make an appointment for Penn at the doctor to see what we should do next. A higher dose of the meds? A totally different med? Do we just have a child with a sensitive gag reflex? I think anyone who's seen these episodes knows how bad they can be, so I do hope this isn't just "his thing."

Any help out there? I really need it because I hate to admit it, but it's looking like we're two for two in weak-stomached children, as Jude seems to be following the same pattern that Penn did. Hopefully, someone can relate and offer some solace or even suggestions for foods or good cleaning products... Let me know!

Ahhh...I actually do feel a little better.